Prime numbers and dirty words

I got tagged by the lovely (at least e-wise speaking since we’ve never met, but her writing is pretty attractive) magnolia with this meme (her answers). Interesting questions, hope you like the answers.

Oooo, and I even get to use dirty words along the way. A prime number’s worth of them in a row. And now, onto the Q&A.

Q. What is your favorite board/party/card game?

A. So many, many possible answers to this question. Favorite board game would have to be Trivial Pursuit. My love of all things arcane, inane and, well, trivial, once led to a situation where it was me against a group of four people. I still won. Party game: I assume this to mean “drinking game” and that would have to be Three Man. Few things better than a good game of Three Man. As for my favorite card game, that’s easy. During my time in the Marines I must have worn out a dozen decks of Bicycles playing Spades. Anyone out there know how to score a “nil-blind six*” bid?

Q. What is your earliest memory?

A. I’m dating myself here, but it would have to be the launch of Apollo 15. My family spent the summer in Florida while my dad was working on the construction of the Disney hotel with the monorail running through it (he helped design the place). We were outside around the pool and even from 50 miles a Saturn V makes a hell of an impression.

Q. If you could witness one event that occurred prior to your birth, what would it be?

A. Still feeling full of patriotic fervor today, so I’d choose Philadelphia, July 1-4, 1776 for the writing and signing of the Declaration of Independence. Perhaps whisper something in Jefferson’s ear while he was writing or in Adams’ and Franklin’s ears as they took a red quill to the document. The more I think about it, I'd be willing to swap this for the Constitutional convention, there's definitely some changes I'd like to get on the record there (term limits, balanced budget anyone?)

Q. What is your favorite curse word?

A. So many curse words…so, so little time. In truth, there really are only seven choices: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.** To narrow it down anymore is difficult but, if forced, my favorite curse word is the versatile and venerated H-bomb of curse words: Motherfucker. Yep, me and half the folks on Inside the Actors Studio.

Q. What is your main fault?

A. I can sometimes be too detail-oriented…wait, not a job interview. The real answer is this: Events that make most people recoil in horror have very little impact on me. Someone shot 37 times? Easy, I'm also wondering why they wasted so many bullets with the price of ammo these days. Town flattened by a tornado or hurricane? Been there, done that and, somewhere, I actually have a t-shirt for it. Need someone to knock on the door of the dearly and very, very recently (within three hours) deceased? Send me in coach, I’m your boy. Between the Marines and being a reporter, especially as a reporter, I’ve seen and written about the worst aspects of human behavior, tragedies and natural disasters. It’s not that I don’t have empathy, I do, but I’d actually be surprised if humanity or nature could shock me anymore. They’re both so predictable.

Q. What turns you on?

A. I’m going to assume this question deals with sexual attraction, cause there’s lot’s of ways to turn a guy’s crank: food, sports, a new electronic device. Anyway, when it comes to women, the answer is, above all else, a woman who challenges me. Intellectually, emotionally, sexually, physically, comedically. Two of those five are going to disappear – eventually – and when they do you better hope you’re with someone you can talk to and laugh and cry with. Also, a great ass doesn’t hurt.

Q. What is your idea of misery?

A. Watching Dook win the national championship last year.

Q. What do you wish you knew more about?

A. Other places. I’ve traveled far too little and would like to go somewhere interesting – Rome, South Africa, Belfast, Central America, Scotland, the moon, North Korea (OK, maybe not that last one) – and learn about it. The day you stop learning is the day the entropy takes hold.

And that’s all folks.

I know the normal form of these things is to pass them along. But I’m not going to do that. I will, however, challenge you to pull these questions, answer them and post them in your little corner of the interwebs and then send me the link. I’ll post all the links I get here.

* 220 points – 100 for the nil and 120 for the blind six. A bold move that can either get you back into a game, or lose it for sure.

** Now don’t get on me about using the word “cunt.” Like it’s any worse than the other six. Also, if you don’t recognize the reference, I suggest a little research into the history of censorship and stand-up comedy.