Lost and found

Some good news here. Someone found my lost saddle bag and phone on Sunday and, apparently, I must have lost it a lot earlier in my ride than I thought.

You see, I know this because whoever found my phone began trying to find me at 9:38 a.m. when they made their first call. They obviously didn’t find me since a) I didn’t have my phone, b) I was riding until almost noon and c) most important, I actually wasn’t in El Salvador where they were tyring to reach me. I was in Bethesda. An easy mistake, people make it all the time.

I understand this confusion. You find something that obviously fell off a bike, c’mon, the spare inner tube, multi-tool and inflator are a dead giveaway, but the phone, the phone could throw anyone for a loop. “One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong.” And in the confusion it’s totally understandable someone could confuse Alexandria and El Salvador - they both have an "L" as the second letter, and "A" near the middle and a "D" near the end. (There was also $30 in emergency Gatorade/Snickers cash in there, but I consider this a finder’s fee for the effort to find me.)

And they tried hard to find me for the next five and a half hours until I was rude enough to brick the phone. So, to the person I inadvertently cut off in the middle of your valiant attempt to locate me and get my phone back to me, I apologize.

This Good Samaritan’s efforts to find me in El Salvador were revealed to me yesterday when my shiny new iPhone beeped with a text from AT&T telling me, “You have exceeded $200 in voice usage charges. Manage your account @ att.com to find the plan that’s right for you and minimize a costly bill.”

Don’t get me wrong, I am deeply grateful for the effort someone went to find me. I don’t know if I’d have spent five and a half hours of my Sunday accidentally calling another country trying to find someone so I could return their 5-year-old Motorola Razr, but it’s the thought that counts. Right?

Now here are some words you’ve probably not heard before:

I <3 AT&T

Yes folks, it’s true. Not only did an actually human (a very nice lady whose name, sadly, I didn’t get) answer my call on the second ring, she spent the next 15 minutes chatting with me as I promised her this was all a misunderstanding and that while I was glad someone was trying to find me, I really wasn’t in El Salvador. She understood completely and within minutes the more than $200 in charges between 9:38 a.m. and 3:16 p.m. were removed from my bill.

I’ll say it again – I <3 AT&T! They rock and they’ve earned a customer for a very long time.

One final thought. To anyone who says this is a victimless crime, I call bullshit. There was a victim here, multiple victims in fact – AT&T and everyone else who pays higher fees because a corporation writes off these losses. Theft like this is no different than someone trying to steal from Wal-Mart or Target.

And it’s only because AT&T was kind and understanding enough to write off more than $200 in charges for services stolen from me, that I’m not digging myself out of a hole.

So, to AT&T, thank you very much.

And to the douchbag asshole who used my phone to steal from me: Fuck You!

Decisions, decisions...

Ran out of work about an hour ago, so now my mind and mouse are wandering hither and yon while hoping for an asteroid strike to bring a close to this day. Probably not lucky enough to for an asteroid to hit.

Oh well.

What I'm really wondering, after cruising through a couple of blogs, most notably Arjewtino's, is this: If no one from the D.C.-NoVa-Maryland area is going to the inaugural, how in the hell are we going to properly mock all those who do in our blogs next Wednesday?

Personally, I'm going back-and-forth on the issue.

According to the Interwebs, next Tuesday the high is supposed to be 35 with a chance of snow. That's 35 Fahrenheit, to clarify for my reader(s) north of the border. If'n it were Celsius, well, that'd still be just as miserable since 35C equals 95F and we'd be bitchin' just as much because of the heat. At least this way, probably, fewer old folks will die from the cold than from heat stroke.

My current thinking, right now, is I'll pedal my ass across the Memorial Bridge (conveniently closed to traffic) and into downtown Tuesday. I may not go any further than the Lincoln Memorial, but I'll still go. This has nothing to do with "wanting to be part of history." Truth be told, the newsman in me just can't resist a spectacle like this.

What do y'all think?