Anyone remember Oregon Trail? That kick-ass game we used to play in school? Well, if you've ever wished someone would make a movie about the experience, you're in luck.
[Caution: Widescreen video ahead. You may want to go to YouTube to actually watch it.]
I think I may have actually tried that whole "Gimme four oxen and all the bullets I can buy" strategy. It may have led to my untimely demise.
OK, maybe it's not for real, but it's still funny.
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
A sign of the Apocalypse? Well, maybe in Rio...
"There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch." - Nigel Powers, the fahza of British super spy Austin Powers.
See, I'm guessing the folks in Brazil, after getting beat 2-1 in the World Cup, are feeling kinda the same way about the Netherlands as Maurice Joseph Micklewhite.
See, I'm guessing the folks in Brazil, after getting beat 2-1 in the World Cup, are feeling kinda the same way about the Netherlands as Maurice Joseph Micklewhite.All good things must come to an end.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Dive
The arts and entertainment section of The Daily Tar Heel, my college paper, is called “Dive”. Our cute little shorthand for “Diversions.” Anyway, I thought it might be an appropriate title for this and other reviews of stuff I’ve seen, read and heard. Today you get a movie and a book.
“Skin” Flick
First up for review, the movie “Skin” staring Sophie Okonedo as Sandra Laing, Sam Neil as her father, Abraham Laing and Alice Krige as her mother, Sannie Laing. “Skin” is currently playing at E Street Cinema.
According to the movie’s Web site, which says it better than I can, “10-year-old Sandra is distinctly African looking. Her parents, Abraham and Sannie, are white Afrikaners, unaware of their black ancestry. They are shopkeepers in a remote area of the Eastern Transvaal and, despite Sandra’s mixed-race appearance, have lovingly brought her up as their ‘white’ little girl.”
Apparently, as much as the Afrikaners hated the idea and thought it impossible, many of them had black genes running through their veins. Usually not a problem, until two of them got together and had children in Apartheid-era South Africa.
I’m not going to ruin the film by going into deeper details of the story, suffice it to say Sandra has a difficult life caught between two worlds, neither of which accepts her. While the movie is “based on the incredible true story,” this means some things are left out or added or changed to help it flow better. They don’t tell the whole story, but this doesn’t lessen the movie. The only thing missing are a couple 10-year-or-so gaps in her life, but the film hits the high (or rather, low) points in Sandra’s life.
Two thumbs up and 3.5 stars out of 5. One warning: If, after seeing the movie, you go out for dinner or drinks, just be careful discussing Skin. The folks at the table next to you might have no idea what you’re talking about, and when you use the word “coloured” they may look at you funny.
“Ummmm…brains…..”
Thanks to my friend Alice and her random number generator, I came into possession of what is probably one of the best books I read this year (and I’ve read a bunch according to the list on your right).
The book is World War Z, An Oral History of the Zombie War, by Max Brooks.
Even though it seems the walking undead are as popular as beautiful teen vampires, I highly recommend this book. First, it’s a quick read that draws you into the story and makes you want to know more. It’s also a bit of a critique on today’s society, but not so much that it bogs the story down. And finally, the style it’s written in, a series of interviews with survivors of WWZ, is pretty gripping.
WWZ attacks, so to speak, the idea of a world-wide infection (that starts in China, of course), and the fight against the undead created by the infection on several fronts. Think about it, how do you fight an enemy that’s already dead and can only be stopped by destroying its brain? An enemy that doesn’t need food, water or air – which means they can walk under bodies of water – and is only slowed by freezing weather, but start moving again in the spring. Oh, and how do nations that hate each other, or can barely get along within their own borders, come together to fight the zombie hoard?
All good questions, all answered well in WWZ. Get it, read it and maybe you too will survive.
Oh, one last thing. On the WWZ Web site, there’s a “Risk Calculator.” By answering the questions like “where do you live” and “what are your skills” you can find out how well prepared you are for WWZ. The Foggy Dew has a 42 percent chance of surviving, how ‘bout you?
.
“Skin” FlickFirst up for review, the movie “Skin” staring Sophie Okonedo as Sandra Laing, Sam Neil as her father, Abraham Laing and Alice Krige as her mother, Sannie Laing. “Skin” is currently playing at E Street Cinema.
According to the movie’s Web site, which says it better than I can, “10-year-old Sandra is distinctly African looking. Her parents, Abraham and Sannie, are white Afrikaners, unaware of their black ancestry. They are shopkeepers in a remote area of the Eastern Transvaal and, despite Sandra’s mixed-race appearance, have lovingly brought her up as their ‘white’ little girl.”
Apparently, as much as the Afrikaners hated the idea and thought it impossible, many of them had black genes running through their veins. Usually not a problem, until two of them got together and had children in Apartheid-era South Africa.
I’m not going to ruin the film by going into deeper details of the story, suffice it to say Sandra has a difficult life caught between two worlds, neither of which accepts her. While the movie is “based on the incredible true story,” this means some things are left out or added or changed to help it flow better. They don’t tell the whole story, but this doesn’t lessen the movie. The only thing missing are a couple 10-year-or-so gaps in her life, but the film hits the high (or rather, low) points in Sandra’s life.
Two thumbs up and 3.5 stars out of 5. One warning: If, after seeing the movie, you go out for dinner or drinks, just be careful discussing Skin. The folks at the table next to you might have no idea what you’re talking about, and when you use the word “coloured” they may look at you funny.
“Ummmm…brains…..”Thanks to my friend Alice and her random number generator, I came into possession of what is probably one of the best books I read this year (and I’ve read a bunch according to the list on your right).
The book is World War Z, An Oral History of the Zombie War, by Max Brooks.
Even though it seems the walking undead are as popular as beautiful teen vampires, I highly recommend this book. First, it’s a quick read that draws you into the story and makes you want to know more. It’s also a bit of a critique on today’s society, but not so much that it bogs the story down. And finally, the style it’s written in, a series of interviews with survivors of WWZ, is pretty gripping.
WWZ attacks, so to speak, the idea of a world-wide infection (that starts in China, of course), and the fight against the undead created by the infection on several fronts. Think about it, how do you fight an enemy that’s already dead and can only be stopped by destroying its brain? An enemy that doesn’t need food, water or air – which means they can walk under bodies of water – and is only slowed by freezing weather, but start moving again in the spring. Oh, and how do nations that hate each other, or can barely get along within their own borders, come together to fight the zombie hoard?
All good questions, all answered well in WWZ. Get it, read it and maybe you too will survive.
Oh, one last thing. On the WWZ Web site, there’s a “Risk Calculator.” By answering the questions like “where do you live” and “what are your skills” you can find out how well prepared you are for WWZ. The Foggy Dew has a 42 percent chance of surviving, how ‘bout you?
.
The Battle of Yonkers
Thursday, April 23, 2009
TMI Thursday: Sneaking about in plain sight
It's TMI Thursday my friends. For more stories that will entertain and disgust you at the same time go to LiLu’s place for this week's full list. And now, on to the fun!
Remember those days in college? You know the ones I’m talking about: Those days in February when the only money you had left, if you were lucky, was the balance on your meal card?
The weather had yet to turn, even in the warmer climes of the American South. The nights were cold and you’re still a couple weeks away from being able to stumble from bar-to-bar in shorts and a T-shirt. A decision is made, and you and your friends maybe figure tonight it might not be such a crime against nature to spend a Saturday night in. You know, just the one.
You trade in the potentially damp and cold night chugging Blue Cups at He’s Not, and the decision is made to gather everyone for movie night.
Yeaaaa! Movie Night!
You, your roommate, your girlfriends and six or eight friends gather in your room because, hey, let’s face it, nobody else has a 20-inch TV (yeah, it was cool at the time) and your room is set up for large crowds. The key feature of this set-up is your loft where the mattress sits about 7 feet above the floor, giving folks plenty of room below to sprawl in chairs and the cool hammock slung in the eaves of the loft.
“What should we watch?” someone asks, and the discussion ensues. Finally someone says, “Hey, Chris has ‘Xxx Xxxx xx xxx Xxxxxxxx,’ we can borrow that.”
Glancing up at your girlfriend in the loft, you give her a little smile and a wink. She smiles too and, maybe, even blushes a little. The two of you have borrowed this same movie from your suitemate at least three times in the past month…and never made it to the end.
At least not clothed, that is.
The movie is slid into the VCR (remember those?), and with everyone comfortable, you hit play and climb up into the loft and join your girlfriend in the balcony seats to watch the stirring tale of epic heroism and forbidden love during the Xxxxxx xxx Xxxxxx War.
It seems tonight, with a room full of friends, you two may, perhaps, just maybe make it to the end fully dressed.
Or not.
The hero rescues the girl from a fate worse than death and, as the first great battle scene begins to rage, you spoon together, cuddling closer, back further toward the wall where the shadows are deeper. More private.
The loft is strong with plenty of bracing to prevent any untoward swaying and squeaking. You know this be you built it this way with your own two hands.
The need for quiet forces small, slow, intense, passionate movement.
The film (shot, I should add, in North Carolina) reaches its climax with a crescendo as our hero races to rescue his love once again. He succeeds, and you hug your girlfriend close whispering, “I love you” softly in her ear.
While the credits roll, your girlfriend feigns sleep as you bid farewell to your friends from the safety of the loft. The last two people to leave are your roommate and his girlfriend, heading over to spend the night in her room.
As the door closes, a hand reaches out for yours.
You smile.
Remember those days in college? You know the ones I’m talking about: Those days in February when the only money you had left, if you were lucky, was the balance on your meal card?
The weather had yet to turn, even in the warmer climes of the American South. The nights were cold and you’re still a couple weeks away from being able to stumble from bar-to-bar in shorts and a T-shirt. A decision is made, and you and your friends maybe figure tonight it might not be such a crime against nature to spend a Saturday night in. You know, just the one.
You trade in the potentially damp and cold night chugging Blue Cups at He’s Not, and the decision is made to gather everyone for movie night.
Yeaaaa! Movie Night!
You, your roommate, your girlfriends and six or eight friends gather in your room because, hey, let’s face it, nobody else has a 20-inch TV (yeah, it was cool at the time) and your room is set up for large crowds. The key feature of this set-up is your loft where the mattress sits about 7 feet above the floor, giving folks plenty of room below to sprawl in chairs and the cool hammock slung in the eaves of the loft.
“What should we watch?” someone asks, and the discussion ensues. Finally someone says, “Hey, Chris has ‘Xxx Xxxx xx xxx Xxxxxxxx,’ we can borrow that.”
Glancing up at your girlfriend in the loft, you give her a little smile and a wink. She smiles too and, maybe, even blushes a little. The two of you have borrowed this same movie from your suitemate at least three times in the past month…and never made it to the end.
At least not clothed, that is.
The movie is slid into the VCR (remember those?), and with everyone comfortable, you hit play and climb up into the loft and join your girlfriend in the balcony seats to watch the stirring tale of epic heroism and forbidden love during the Xxxxxx xxx Xxxxxx War.
It seems tonight, with a room full of friends, you two may, perhaps, just maybe make it to the end fully dressed.
Or not.
The hero rescues the girl from a fate worse than death and, as the first great battle scene begins to rage, you spoon together, cuddling closer, back further toward the wall where the shadows are deeper. More private.
The loft is strong with plenty of bracing to prevent any untoward swaying and squeaking. You know this be you built it this way with your own two hands.
The need for quiet forces small, slow, intense, passionate movement.
The film (shot, I should add, in North Carolina) reaches its climax with a crescendo as our hero races to rescue his love once again. He succeeds, and you hug your girlfriend close whispering, “I love you” softly in her ear.
While the credits roll, your girlfriend feigns sleep as you bid farewell to your friends from the safety of the loft. The last two people to leave are your roommate and his girlfriend, heading over to spend the night in her room.
As the door closes, a hand reaches out for yours.
You smile.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The eye of the beholder
Just the other night, while I was watching “The Sound of Music” (Yeah? What of it bud? You got something to say?) I got to thinking just exactly how beautiful Julie Andrews was/is. During the scene where Captain von Trapp expresses his love for the former nun in the gazebo, the two-time nanny (eh, remember her turn around the rooftops of London with Dick Van Dyke in “Mary Poppins”?) looked so beautiful it got me to thinking about other beautiful women.
Then, yesterday, Vanity Fair announced the results of its poll and named Angelina Jolie “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World.” She was, in fact, the overwhelming winner, taking 58 percent of the vote and the only person on the list to make it into double digits percentage-wise (Gisele Bundchen – 9 percent, and Halle Berry, 4 percent, were second and third).
Now, don’t get me wrong, Mrs. Pitt is a beautiful woman, but she and pretty much all of her contemporaries in the moving pictures today can’t hold a candle to the silver screen’s leading ladies of yesteryear. With that in mind, I got to thinking even more. What I needed was a list. A list of women who's beauty transcends time and space.
And here it is, my list of the Top 3 Most Beautiful Women in Cinema History, and a few of their credits in case you want to look them up. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.
I saw “Rear Window” in a film class my sophomore or junior year. The first time Grace Kelly came into the frame she took my breath away.
Forever famous for asking Sam to play “As Time Goes By” Ingrid Bergman’s beauty makes it easy to understand why Rick was so destroyed when she missed the train and left him standing in the rain in Paris.
Then, yesterday, Vanity Fair announced the results of its poll and named Angelina Jolie “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World.” She was, in fact, the overwhelming winner, taking 58 percent of the vote and the only person on the list to make it into double digits percentage-wise (Gisele Bundchen – 9 percent, and Halle Berry, 4 percent, were second and third).
Now, don’t get me wrong, Mrs. Pitt is a beautiful woman, but she and pretty much all of her contemporaries in the moving pictures today can’t hold a candle to the silver screen’s leading ladies of yesteryear. With that in mind, I got to thinking even more. What I needed was a list. A list of women who's beauty transcends time and space.
And here it is, my list of the Top 3 Most Beautiful Women in Cinema History, and a few of their credits in case you want to look them up. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.
Grace Kelly
To Catch a Thief and Rear Window
To Catch a Thief and Rear Window
I saw “Rear Window” in a film class my sophomore or junior year. The first time Grace Kelly came into the frame she took my breath away.
Ingrid Bergman
Casablanca and Notorious
Casablanca and Notorious
Forever famous for asking Sam to play “As Time Goes By” Ingrid Bergman’s beauty makes it easy to understand why Rick was so destroyed when she missed the train and left him standing in the rain in Paris.
Audrey Hepburn
Roman Holiday, Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and My Fair Lady
Sometimes one picture is just not enough. So here's a couple more.
“I ain't dirty! I washed me face and hands before I come, I did.” No amount of dirt smudging her face could disguise her beauty.
I know there’s some actress out there I missed who may be as luminescent as the three mentioned above and for that I am truly sorry. One thing I’m sure of is Grace, Ingrid and Audrey would still be leading ladies today. Not in their current form, of course, since all are dead, but at their prime their beauty easily eclipses any of today’s stars.
Friday, January 23, 2009
End of the week wrap-up of “Random Thoughts”
It’s three days after President Obama’s inauguration, why isn’t my life any better yet? Seriously, how come things haven’t started changing?
I’m sure there are people out there wondering these same things. I, of course, am just kidding.
I saw a commercial for the new Friday the 13th movie last night which got me wondering. Is America ready for a reboot of the Jason Voorhees story brought to you by Michael Bay, producer of such fine films as Transformers, Armageddon, The Rock and Bad Boys? (I’m not including Pearl Harbor in his list of “accomplishments.”)
Personally, after the last six (of 11!?!?!?! Seriously?) Jason films, I say it’s about time for a new direction in Jason's character development. He's become pretty one-dimensional. Here is what Wikipedia has to say about the plot for the new Friday the 13th.
I do wonder though, can you slice and dice as many half-nakid and nakid post-coital teenagers today as you could in the 1980s? You know? I’m thinking you can’t. The 80s were the high-water mark for the slasher film and, I believe, despite all the whiny cries of “there's too much violence in the movies,” the American puritanical streak or recent years will keep the directors from reaching their full potential with Jason.
My two personal favs (and I can’t recall the films they’re from) include the guy working on his motorcycle while wearing a extraordinarily long knitted scarf that is then thrown into the chain and wrapped around the wheel choking him. The other is the one where Jason (I think it was Jason) uses a spear in an unabashedly phallic method to stab through a mattress, shish-ka-bobing the beautiful young couple banging away girl-on-top so she can see the spear coming toward her through her lover’s chest.
These are some priceless cinematic moments.
Which leads me to another question: is Jason a zombie? One of the movies, Jason X, apparently used as a plot device his ability to continually heal as the reason why he Just. Wouldn’t. Die.
I don’t know, does this make him undead? Zombies don’t die cause they’re already dead, but you can chop them up pretty good and remove the threat. The problem is they never come at you by themselves. There always seems to be an Metric Fuckton of them and our heroes (except the lovely Mila Jovovich as Alice in the Resident Evil franchise) always seem to end up getting bitten and turned.
Such a shame. But it still leaves the question unanswered: Is Jason Voorhees a really quick zombie, just zombie-like or not a zombie at all, but rather a quick healer with a thing for edged weapons?
See ya at the movies…
I’m sure there are people out there wondering these same things. I, of course, am just kidding.
I saw a commercial for the new Friday the 13th movie last night which got me wondering. Is America ready for a reboot of the Jason Voorhees story brought to you by Michael Bay, producer of such fine films as Transformers, Armageddon, The Rock and Bad Boys? (I’m not including Pearl Harbor in his list of “accomplishments.”)
Personally, after the last six (of 11!?!?!?! Seriously?) Jason films, I say it’s about time for a new direction in Jason's character development. He's become pretty one-dimensional. Here is what Wikipedia has to say about the plot for the new Friday the 13th.
I do wonder though, can you slice and dice as many half-nakid and nakid post-coital teenagers today as you could in the 1980s? You know? I’m thinking you can’t. The 80s were the high-water mark for the slasher film and, I believe, despite all the whiny cries of “there's too much violence in the movies,” the American puritanical streak or recent years will keep the directors from reaching their full potential with Jason.
My two personal favs (and I can’t recall the films they’re from) include the guy working on his motorcycle while wearing a extraordinarily long knitted scarf that is then thrown into the chain and wrapped around the wheel choking him. The other is the one where Jason (I think it was Jason) uses a spear in an unabashedly phallic method to stab through a mattress, shish-ka-bobing the beautiful young couple banging away girl-on-top so she can see the spear coming toward her through her lover’s chest.
These are some priceless cinematic moments.
Which leads me to another question: is Jason a zombie? One of the movies, Jason X, apparently used as a plot device his ability to continually heal as the reason why he Just. Wouldn’t. Die.
I don’t know, does this make him undead? Zombies don’t die cause they’re already dead, but you can chop them up pretty good and remove the threat. The problem is they never come at you by themselves. There always seems to be an Metric Fuckton of them and our heroes (except the lovely Mila Jovovich as Alice in the Resident Evil franchise) always seem to end up getting bitten and turned.Such a shame. But it still leaves the question unanswered: Is Jason Voorhees a really quick zombie, just zombie-like or not a zombie at all, but rather a quick healer with a thing for edged weapons?
See ya at the movies…
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