You get what you need

I was searching all around my house Monday night for a couple of books that absolutely refused to be found. Makes me wonder if I’ve loaned them out and now forget just who the hell I gave them to. This really annoys me, almost as much as the tool I loaned a book to back when I was in the Marines. The jackhole didn’t dog ear pages to mark his place, but folded the whole damn page over from corner to spine.

Did I mention it was a hardcover book?

Anyway.

In the course of my futile search I did find two things. One I’ve been looking for more than a month, and the other I’d forgotten I had.

The first thing I found was my 2010 alumni association calendar buried under a pile of papers I’d moved in January. May not seem like much, but just the other day I was looking how much a replacement would cost (btw, $15). Now, without spending the money, I get to look upon the beautiful vistas of Chapel Hill every day. Win-win for me. Almost makes me glad I couldn’t find the book.

Almost, but not quite.

The other thing I found, which I actually found first, was a 2004 world atlas. It was tucked into the corner of my bookshelf, kinda-sorta behind a couple of other things, but not quite totally hidden. Almost as if it was waiting to be found. The atlas was a gift from an old girlfriend, one of those little things you pick up for someone you love that has a special meaning just between the two of you.

In this case – the short version – there’d been an epic day-long road trip involving what may or may not have been an underestimation of the time and distance involved.

When I pulled the slim, blue book off the shelf and flipped through its pages, two sheets of yellow notebook paper slipped out.

Have you ever found an old love letter? I mean finding one by accident when it just kind of pops up unexpectedly? It’s an interesting experience. For me, it brought back all the memories of the time spent with a woman I loved and, to tell the truth, someone I still care very, very deeply about.

More than half a decade down the road, well, I’m still smiling a little after reading, rereading and, yes, reading her words again.

Monday night was a good night.

Snips and Snails…

How appropriate is it that Friday the 13th falls the day before Valentine’s Day? Of course, February 13 always comes the day before Valentine’s Day, but for some reason I’m intrigued by the coincidence of the two dates this year.

I’m wondering how many men are going to make decisions today or, rather, more likely fail to make decisions that will to lead to disasters tomorrow. It’s funny when it happens in the movies, not so funny when you’re personally involved.

In this life I have loved three very different and exceptionally beautiful women and, amazingly, been lucky enough to have them feel the same way about me. Just writing that sentence brought a smile to my face as memories flood back. I don’t know if three loves over the course of my adult life (so far) is a lot, but it feels about right. (Yes, for those of you asking, scientists are hard at work trying to figure out how three women could have fallen in love with the Foggy Dew. Seriously, this is Nobel-level work.)

The funny thing is for those three beautiful faces there are nothing but the vaguest memories of Valentine’s Days past. The only way I can explain it is when you love someone, February 14 isn’t sooo important because you demonstrate your love every day. Not just once a year in a big, over-the-top commercial way.

The memories I do have of Valentine’s Day are of those February 14ths when my reach exceeded my grasp. The ones that didn’t go … quite so well. Why is it a holiday dedicated in our minds to love is so often seared into our memories because of (generally male) screw-ups and forgetfulness?

We men are, at our essence very simple creatures. Barely evolved beyond single-celled organisms in some ways. You have to remember for us it’s not so much just having the thought count, but rather the actual physical act of engaging our brains beyond the necessary imperative drives of food, shelter and … and … Hey look! The game’s on!

In “The Break Up” Brook says, “I want you to want to do the dishes.” To which Gary gives the perfect, unfiltered guy response: “Why would I want to do the dishes?” (Note: I don’t mind doing the dishes, this is merely an example of typical guy thinking.)

Translated to today and tomorrow’s events it could also be written this way: Honey Bunny, “Oh, you don’t have to do anything special for Valentine’s Day. Just being with you is enough for me.” Dude, “OK.”

See? Simple. Literal. And then we wonder what we did to piss off the women we love.

This year I find myself quite single and, unless something extraordinary happens in the next 24 or so hours, February 14 will pass me by quietly. It’s a very slight disappointment personally because, no matter what I’ve written above, society-at-large demands coupling of us all. But I’ll deal with that.

I’m a guy.

Thanks or TMI?

I was trying to decide if I wanted to go with something TMIy today or, in the spirit of the holiday tomorrow, be thankful for something, anything. And, I figured, since I have to come to work on Friday I'll save the TMI until then to entertain y'all.

Lessee, what am I thankful for?

Family. I've been pretty lucky when it comes to family, gains have exceeded losses. Considering the fact I and both of my brothers were Marines, that's saying something. Also, come next month, there'll be two new additions to the family unit when my brother and his wife welcome children three and four (girls two and three).

Friends. I'm lucky enough to have not one, but two best friends: the Doc and the Director. I've known them each 25 years now and really don't remember when my life didn't include them. Add in my friends from college (in order of acquaintance): Sarita, Anderson, Liz, Lawyerman and Disaffected Scanner Jockey and that makes me kinda like Lou Gehrig.

Other things I'm Thankful For:

I've loved and lost and loved again (and lost, again) You can't have the sweet without the salt.

I'm employed.

I have two invites to dinner tomorrow night.

Psycho T came back for his senior year.

Chocolate.

I live in a city with great (free) museums.

My Williams-Sonoma rolling pin.

I don't have to drive on 95 tonight.

Random, stream of consciousness blog posts.

Those little things holding the ends of your shoelaces together so they go through the holes.

The coming Festivus season.

Sundresses in the spring and skimpy tank tops in the summer (to look at, not to wear).

Turkey. Stuffing. Cranberry sauce.

The hope of better days to come.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.