Think back to the family vacations of your youth. All set? Good. Imagine if you will this scene: A family of seven, trapped together in a, now that I think about it, brand new, not-even-a-month-old brown Chevy Caprice Classic station wagon (the one without the wood panelling).
The location? Well, we were somewhere up in badlands of Wisconsin and had just toured a cheese factory. To commemorate this visit, the Dew family had purchased several pound-sized bags of cheese curds to snack on during the journey back to our vacation cottage in Fish Creek. For those who don't know what a cheddar cheese curd looks like, here's a picture.
As anyone who's been on one knows, on a family road trip involving five children (or any number of kiddies for that matter), there are good seats in the family truckster, and there are bad seats in the family truckster. As we left the cheese factory, I scored the best seat in the car: right behind the old man while he was driving.
Why was this the best seat, you ask? Well, it's pretty damn hard to drive and smack the shit out of the kid behind you at the same time.
Can you see what's coming up (yeah, I meant that) here?
Never. Ever. If the situation arises, allow your children to eat cheese curds (which are pretty tasty, btw) while sitting behind you in a moving vehicle. However, should you ignore me and fail to follow this advice, and then hear the words, "I don't feel too good," make sure you pull over immediately.
I mean: Right. This. Very. SECOND!
I know my dad was thinking he probably shouldn't have ignored me a few minutes later. You know, as he was wiping my rebooted cheese curds (some larger than a penny) off the back of his head and neck before he got busy scraping them off the upholstery of his shiny new car.
There is a silver lining (for me at least): It's really tough to punish one of your kids for puking on you when it's your own fault for not pulling over.
16 comments:
How random, but I recall a family vacation of my own where we kids were in the backseat eating cheese curds on our way home from a cheese factory... but in Vermont! There was no carsickness... but I still think we have a pretty unusual thing in common. Let's bond over cheese curds at the next happy hour.
Charlotte - you're speaking, of course, about stories of cheese curds, not the curds themselves, right? See ya at the bar.
Cheese curds are everywhere! I'm goan git me some...
LiLu - Just make sure you wait until you get home to chow down.
I used to vomit ALL the time on car trips. My parents went prepared.
Tino - Funny, my incident is the only one I can ever remember covering four trips from Chicago to the Outter Banks and back, and at least eight from Pittsburgh to the shore and back. Perhaps it's because it was the only one I was involved in.
i was fooled by the suspense. i thought the lead-up was about a car jam-packed with people who, stuffed with cheese, would poison the air so badly they all cried.
but this was worse(better).
f.B. - the air was indeed poisoned. Thankful for little blessings, I did not set off a chain reaction. Now that would have been a story.
Cheddar cheese puke. You make me completely queasy.
Lisa - It was cheddar cheese *curd* puke. On TMI Thursday does queasy mean I've done my job correctly?
Wow, I hadn't even read this when I admitted my own predilection toward automotive illness yesterday. I salute you!
Fearless - I receive your salute and return one. Which, basically, means I'll be heading to your blog to compare and contrast our different styles.
Wow, ewww. I wasn't sure if the story would go the puking way, or would end with your dad cutting the cheese (if you know what I mean).
007 - Either one would have worked, I'm kinda glad it worked out in my favor.
I think I booted my way through every family vacation. Hell, even now I get motion sickness just walking down the street.
Shannon - You tell me this now? After volunteering to ride in my car's backseat this weekend?
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