Thursday, May 7, 2009

TMI Thursday: How do you spell relief?

I’m sure we’ve all been there. The phone rings late at night. The message is short, but the tears and talk go on well past midnight. 

“I’m late," You heart stops. "A week late.”

Fade back in time to three weeks ago. You and your girlfriend are visiting friends over the long Memorial Day weekend. The barbecue and beers that Saturday night were chased by more beers and, if you remember correctly, tequila. Lots of tequila.

The beer and tequila were later chased by lots of mad, passionate drunken sex.

And now, three weeks later, she’s out of town visiting her parents for a few days.

“What are we going to do?” The question brings you back to the present. 

“Are you sure?” you ask.

“It’s been a week. I could be.”

“Come back tomorrow, we’ll talk about it together.”

The goodbye lasts almost as long as the call. You tell each other “I love you” too many times to count. 

And then you hang up.

Sleep comes fitfully, if at all. Did you even sleep? It doesn’t matter when the alarm goes off, you still have to get up and go to work. 

A quick call to make sure she’s OK and still coming back that afternoon. 

“Meet me at work,” you say. “I’ll leave when you get here and we can talk.” 

The morning seems to stretch toward infinity, like you’re on the event horizon of a black hole. One more step...

Lunch comes and goes. The next two hours are spent checking your watch every 10 minutes. Every five minutes.

Every minute.

Then, just before three, you’re outside taking a smoke break with some friends and you see her car pull up. Your heart races and your hands shake as she pulls into a spot just across from you. 

She gets out looking more beautiful than you remember (khaki shorts and a blue tank) and your eyes meet. 

She sees the look on your face and bites her lip. And smiles. 

“Sorry I’m late,” she says, then laughs after she realizes what she’s said. “I had to stop on the way down and buy some tampons.”


Lemmonex said...


Selaen said...

There's times you should never hear about a girl's periods... And then there's times when you totally should.. :)


Vittoria said...

whoooooooooa. you made my pulse skyrocket.

Fearless in Toronto said...

The fear, the relief, all mixed up with the brief glimpse through the looking glass at a totally different path through life. Very nicely written, sir.

FoggyDew said...

Lem - You can say that again girl.

Selaen - There's something about the smile of a girl who just found out she's not preggers, it can light up a room.

Vittoria - Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Fearless - It is pretty funny how your outlook can change with a couple of words. "I do"+"I'm late"= joy. "I'm late"-"I do"= fear and apprehension.

saratogajean said...

The crimson tide has never been more welcome!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I never told MH about any of our scares after the first one. He didn't touch me for a month after that, so I quit telling him. I would just puke a couple times waiting on that damn stick to turn.

FoggyDew said...

sara - ride the wave, I say.

badcat - Those are some of the longest minutes in the world waiting for the stick to change if you're not trying. Yanno? I don't recall a waiting period (haha) after this. I think we took it as a sign we should have more sex.

Liebchen said...

Been. There. So freaking terrifying. Probably the only time I've ever thanked God for my period.

WickedCourtni said...

3 Cheers for AUNT FLO!

Cassie said...

Been there. (on her side I mean). and THAT is some scary shit.

FoggyDew said...

Liebchen - I know what it feels like from my pov. As much as I want to think I can, I can't possibly imagine what it feels like for a young woman to be counting on her fingers 28...29...30...31...32...

Wicked - Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! (Been reading Master and Commander lately.)

Cassie - It's scary on both sides, but I have to believe it's worse on your end.

JFo said...

Has anyone else ever high fived your gf when she starts her period as she declared, "Yes! We're not parents for another month"?

f.B said...

@JFo - yes. Not those exact words. But yes.

FoggyDew said...

Jfo and j.B. - Personally, over the years, I've developed a little dance to celebrate that wonderful day.

Lady Jane said...

Hey Foggy Dew!! Love hearing the guys point of view!! Sounds like your a good man..BTW thanks for stopping by my place and I am digging yours!!!

JoLee said...

this sounds like me last month! ha!

FoggyDew said...

Lady Jane - Welcome, welcome and thank you. I'd like to think I am.

JoLee - Congrats on not being preggers. (I'm guessing, right?)