Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fingernails + chalkboard = today

Came into work this morning all ready to play my part in the safeguarding of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not to go into too many details, but I work for an organization that has its headquarters in a uniquely shaped non-square building near a river.

Yeah, my morning bliss - enhanced by a nice bike ride last evening followed by a good night's sleep last night - came to a screeching halt a little before 8:30 when a co-worker stopped in the door to my office and asked, "You going this morning?"

"Going to what?"

"The orientation..."

"...Oh, damn."

I got the email about the "new employee" orientation a couple of weeks ago and promptly put it out of my mind. Why do that? Well, the answer's simple: I may be new with my current employer, but I've worked in my office for the past four years as a contractor. In this organization, that makes me an old-timer.

Basically, I have to sit through six hours of briefings on shit I already know during the next two days (10 to 1 today and 1 to 4 tomorrow).

Could be worse. The guy who reminded me of the orientation? Well, he's been working here for 11 years but, like me, due to a recent change in employers, he too has to go. I'm pretty sure he's the one who made the orientation briefing slides.

Hope I don't snore.

Excuse me while I go drive a couple of spikes through my skull.


J said...

At my last employer I'd get an email about every two or three months claiming I hadn't attended the sexual harassment training that everyone was required to take every two years. While I appreciated the sometimes subtle humor (I once asked if the title - "Keeping it Legal" - implied was a finesse course), and the not-so-subtle humor ("Wow, sweet AND sour my little lotus blossom!"), I began by politely telling HR I had already attended several times (probably about 5 in my 6 year span). After awhile, though, I just stopped bothering and let them nag me as much as they wanted. No ill ever came of it...

Liebchen said...

I don't envy you. Maybe you could practice sleeping with your eyes open? I hear that's a valuable skill.

Lemon Gloria said...

When I'm stuck like that I write blog posts in my head. Or doodle. Or make exhaustive lists of stuff - future grocery lists, to-do lists, etc etc etc.

But, grim!

LiLu said...

I'm with LG. Many a blog post has been written in some boring meeting while it looked like I was furiously taking notes.

Six hours though?

Yours better be a doozy...

hannah said...

Offer to teach the next round of orientation courses. Go wild with it.

magnolia said...

gaaaaah. that sounds AWFUL. i wonder if there'll be power point jokes inserted into the presentation after the new york times article. joy.

FoggyDew said...

J - reminds me of the two years after Tailhook. After all the seminars there was no more sexual harrassment since we all knew how to do it without getting in trouble.

Liebchen - I can add it to my ability to sleep on helicopters.

LG - perhaps I'll give that a try. Or some short fiction...

LiLu - I had an idea for a short story and started writing it during a meeting months ago. Wonder where that notebook is?

hannah - Orientation Gone Wild! We can all take off our cover sheets!

mags - One good thing did come of it. What is this article you speak of?