Waiting for the bus the morn and a woman walks up and begins waiting near me.
Enter another woman walking what looked to be two shih tzus or some other similar small dog. They pause near us as one of the dogs investigates something in the nearby grass.
The first woman turns, looks at me, looks at the other woman, looks at the dogs and says, "You better get your dogs out of my face or I'm going to kick them."
A flat statement of intent. I'm thinking maybe she knows the dog walker and is joking around.
"What?" asked the shocked dog walker. I guess not.
"Get your dogs out of my face or I'm going to kick them."
"Why would you do something like that?"
Evil stare from first woman.
Dog walker moves along with laser-beam eyes boring into her back and the backs of her cute little dogs. While generally not a fan of cute little dogs that can't defend themselves or protect me in my time of need, one of my best friends once had shih tzu named Scottie. They get a bye.
I'm forced to wonder, what is it that could inspire someone to such thoughts and threats so, so early in the morning? Everyone's entitled to a bad day now and then, but seriously? Kick a dog? Kick a shih tzu? At least threaten to do it to a dog that has a sporting chance against you like a rottie or a boxer or...I don't know, a mastiff?
What's the strangest thing you've heard lately during your morning commute?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Fingernails + chalkboard = today
Came into work this morning all ready to play my part in the safeguarding of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not to go into too many details, but I work for an organization that has its headquarters in a uniquely shaped non-square building near a river.
Yeah, my morning bliss - enhanced by a nice bike ride last evening followed by a good night's sleep last night - came to a screeching halt a little before 8:30 when a co-worker stopped in the door to my office and asked, "You going this morning?"
"Going to what?"
"The orientation..."
"...Oh, damn."
I got the email about the "new employee" orientation a couple of weeks ago and promptly put it out of my mind. Why do that? Well, the answer's simple: I may be new with my current employer, but I've worked in my office for the past four years as a contractor. In this organization, that makes me an old-timer.
Basically, I have to sit through six hours of briefings on shit I already know during the next two days (10 to 1 today and 1 to 4 tomorrow).
Could be worse. The guy who reminded me of the orientation? Well, he's been working here for 11 years but, like me, due to a recent change in employers, he too has to go. I'm pretty sure he's the one who made the orientation briefing slides.
Hope I don't snore.
Excuse me while I go drive a couple of spikes through my skull.
Yeah, my morning bliss - enhanced by a nice bike ride last evening followed by a good night's sleep last night - came to a screeching halt a little before 8:30 when a co-worker stopped in the door to my office and asked, "You going this morning?"
"Going to what?"
"The orientation..."
"...Oh, damn."
I got the email about the "new employee" orientation a couple of weeks ago and promptly put it out of my mind. Why do that? Well, the answer's simple: I may be new with my current employer, but I've worked in my office for the past four years as a contractor. In this organization, that makes me an old-timer.
Basically, I have to sit through six hours of briefings on shit I already know during the next two days (10 to 1 today and 1 to 4 tomorrow).
Could be worse. The guy who reminded me of the orientation? Well, he's been working here for 11 years but, like me, due to a recent change in employers, he too has to go. I'm pretty sure he's the one who made the orientation briefing slides.
Hope I don't snore.
Excuse me while I go drive a couple of spikes through my skull.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Divinely inspired humor
It's been said everyone needs to have a goal. My nephew's in town this weekend and the boy, who's 12, has a goal and it's a good one. His goal, you ask, well, he wants to see a baseball game in every major league park. So far I think he's seen the Yankees - both old and new Yankee Stadium - the Mets - Shea and Citi Field - (care to guess where he lives?) and, I think, the Red Sox and the Cubs. Tomorrow, he gets to add Nationals Park to his list. Considering how much it cost, I think we got a pretty good ballpark out of the deal.
I talked to my sister last night and she said he's really looking forward to the game, as am I. It's the first game of the year for me, and that's always something special. Especially since the Nats are approaching mediocrity.
Changing the subject, it's been a while since we've had a Friday joke, so here's one I recently came across. All periods of time stated in this joke are approximations.
God was missing for six days.
On the seventh day, Michael, the archangel, found him - resting. He inquired, “Where have you been?”
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I have made.”
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I've put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.”
“Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m confused.”
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, “For example,” he said, “northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.”
God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”
The Archangel, impressed by God’s work (and kissing up to the boss a bit) then pointed to a land area and asked, “What's that one?”
“That's Virginia, the most glorious place on earth,” God said. “There are beautiful mountains, ocean, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace and producers of good things.”
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”
God smiled, “Right next to Virginia is Washington, D.C. Wait’ll you see the idiots I put there.”
I talked to my sister last night and she said he's really looking forward to the game, as am I. It's the first game of the year for me, and that's always something special. Especially since the Nats are approaching mediocrity.
Changing the subject, it's been a while since we've had a Friday joke, so here's one I recently came across. All periods of time stated in this joke are approximations.
God was missing for six days.
On the seventh day, Michael, the archangel, found him - resting. He inquired, “Where have you been?”
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I have made.”
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I've put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.”
“Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m confused.”
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, “For example,” he said, “northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.”
God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”
The Archangel, impressed by God’s work (and kissing up to the boss a bit) then pointed to a land area and asked, “What's that one?”
“That's Virginia, the most glorious place on earth,” God said. “There are beautiful mountains, ocean, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace and producers of good things.”
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”
God smiled, “Right next to Virginia is Washington, D.C. Wait’ll you see the idiots I put there.”
Oh, c'mon, like you didn't see that one coming. Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck, I say. Have a great weekend.
Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd...
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Ring...Ring...Ring...
Disclosure: I really have no idea who the hell Lady Gaga is. Don't listen to her music and couldn't pick her out of a line-up. Yep, that's how little I care about her and her art.
Apparently, though, this remake of her "Telephone" video has been going a bit, what's that term? Oh yes: Viral. It was done by a couple of soldiers in Afghanistan and, according to this article, the Army's pretty OK with it.
The funniest part, of both the video and the article? The N&O's description of Sgt. Aaron Melcher, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division:
"Lady Gaga's version of the video features scenes in a women's prison and behavior that would clearly violate the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy. The biggest offense in the tamer paratrooper remake, though, is a skimpy, vaguely bikini-like outfit crafted of straps that Melcher flaunts while imitating a Lady Gaga outfit made of nothing but crime-scene tape.
"Gaga is slender. Sgt. Melcher is many things, including enthusiastic and energetic. He is not, however, slender."
I'm guessing he won't be wearing that come the next uniform inspection. At least I hope not.
While I'm not ready to compare soldiers to Marines, this video does recall a comment Eleanor Roosevelt made after touring the Marines' South Pacific bases during World War II. Mrs. Roosevelt, never a fan of the Marines, is said to have responded when asked her opinion of the Marines: "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps."
I can live with that.
Soldier, sailor, airman, Coastie or Marine, these guys and others like them are halfway around the world doing a job most of us can't imagine and don't even want to. When they got a break they took a few minutes to relax and made something funny and creative that will, amazingly enough, last pretty much forever. Think about what it takes to keep your sense of humor in a place like that. Now try complaining about traffic, the weather, your boss ...
Well, phone's ringing, gotta go.
Apparently, though, this remake of her "Telephone" video has been going a bit, what's that term? Oh yes: Viral. It was done by a couple of soldiers in Afghanistan and, according to this article, the Army's pretty OK with it.
The funniest part, of both the video and the article? The N&O's description of Sgt. Aaron Melcher, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division:
"Lady Gaga's version of the video features scenes in a women's prison and behavior that would clearly violate the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy. The biggest offense in the tamer paratrooper remake, though, is a skimpy, vaguely bikini-like outfit crafted of straps that Melcher flaunts while imitating a Lady Gaga outfit made of nothing but crime-scene tape.
"Gaga is slender. Sgt. Melcher is many things, including enthusiastic and energetic. He is not, however, slender."
I'm guessing he won't be wearing that come the next uniform inspection. At least I hope not.
While I'm not ready to compare soldiers to Marines, this video does recall a comment Eleanor Roosevelt made after touring the Marines' South Pacific bases during World War II. Mrs. Roosevelt, never a fan of the Marines, is said to have responded when asked her opinion of the Marines: "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps."
I can live with that.
Soldier, sailor, airman, Coastie or Marine, these guys and others like them are halfway around the world doing a job most of us can't imagine and don't even want to. When they got a break they took a few minutes to relax and made something funny and creative that will, amazingly enough, last pretty much forever. Think about what it takes to keep your sense of humor in a place like that. Now try complaining about traffic, the weather, your boss ...
Well, phone's ringing, gotta go.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
A line in the sand
Pundits and loudmouths from coast to coast, liberal and conservative alike, are having a field day now that Arizona Republican Gov. Jan Brewer signed into law legislation giving the state's law enforcement officers greater powers when it comes to fighting illegal immigration.
"Governor Brewer has to be held responsible for signing what is now an international shame on the state of Arizona," said Jennifer Allen, executive-director of Border Action Network, an immigrant rights group in an MSNBC story. My favorite part of the story is in the lede graf: "...opponents used refried beans to smear swastikas on the state Capitol."
Apparently, anyone who has not vowed to fight this law with Adamantium resolve is a racist Nazi (is that redundant?), and those protesting against it are bleeding-heart liberal day laborers out to ruin America. And me? What do I think? Well...
I'd first like to point out the opponents have already violated Godwin's Law so make of that what you will.
I'm in favor of the law. I ask you this: What is so wrong about asking cops to enforce all of the laws? If you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law and you can be arrested. If that law happens to be an immigration law, hey, guess what? You're going back home.
The big argument folks have against this is they say immigration is a federal matter and states aren't allowed to interfere with that prerogative. I call bullshit on that for a couple of reasons. National security is also a federal matter, but do you think local cops are going to stop investigating that strange fellow getting shipments of fertilizer and diesel fuel? Controlling illegal immigration is a national security matter too. How hard do you think it will be for some of those groups around the world who hate America and Americans (it doesn't matter what color you are or whether you're a Republican, Democrat or Tea bagger, they hate you just the same) to send a couple of their disciples across the Mexico-Arizona border? Probably not that hard.
Also, seeing as how we in D.C. live far, far away from that line in the hot, dry desert sand, we probably don't realize there is an actual war going on in northern Mexico that often ends up in Arizona, California, Texas and New Mexico. Mexican cops and soldiers south of the border are getting killed by drug gangs faster than our troops are in Iraq and Afghanistan. This drug war, a real war unlike the one our government has been unsuccessfully waging for decades, is a real shooting war and it's spilling over into the U.S.
Since I'm not going to go into the objections point-by-point, you can read a really good explanation by Kris Kobach, who helped write Arizona's law, on the NYT's op-ed page here. Here's some more good coverage and analysis from the NYT, and the local POV from AZCentral.
Couple more points: The Supremes have ruled in the past that police are not violating the Fourth Amendment by asking you for ID when they suspect you're violating the law. Also, despite the Border Action Network's intent (love the acronym: BAN, think they might want to rethink that?) to sign up voters against the law to vote the governor out in November, 70 percent of likely Arizona voters support the law. Finally, try walking around Mexico or any other country without your passport. See what happens if you get stopped by the police
What do you think? Tell me I'm right or tell me I'm a racist in the comments. But I leave you with this thought: What part of illegal immigration is so difficult to understand?
"Governor Brewer has to be held responsible for signing what is now an international shame on the state of Arizona," said Jennifer Allen, executive-director of Border Action Network, an immigrant rights group in an MSNBC story. My favorite part of the story is in the lede graf: "...opponents used refried beans to smear swastikas on the state Capitol."
Apparently, anyone who has not vowed to fight this law with Adamantium resolve is a racist Nazi (is that redundant?), and those protesting against it are bleeding-heart liberal day laborers out to ruin America. And me? What do I think? Well...
I'd first like to point out the opponents have already violated Godwin's Law so make of that what you will.
I'm in favor of the law. I ask you this: What is so wrong about asking cops to enforce all of the laws? If you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law and you can be arrested. If that law happens to be an immigration law, hey, guess what? You're going back home.
The big argument folks have against this is they say immigration is a federal matter and states aren't allowed to interfere with that prerogative. I call bullshit on that for a couple of reasons. National security is also a federal matter, but do you think local cops are going to stop investigating that strange fellow getting shipments of fertilizer and diesel fuel? Controlling illegal immigration is a national security matter too. How hard do you think it will be for some of those groups around the world who hate America and Americans (it doesn't matter what color you are or whether you're a Republican, Democrat or Tea bagger, they hate you just the same) to send a couple of their disciples across the Mexico-Arizona border? Probably not that hard.
Also, seeing as how we in D.C. live far, far away from that line in the hot, dry desert sand, we probably don't realize there is an actual war going on in northern Mexico that often ends up in Arizona, California, Texas and New Mexico. Mexican cops and soldiers south of the border are getting killed by drug gangs faster than our troops are in Iraq and Afghanistan. This drug war, a real war unlike the one our government has been unsuccessfully waging for decades, is a real shooting war and it's spilling over into the U.S.
Since I'm not going to go into the objections point-by-point, you can read a really good explanation by Kris Kobach, who helped write Arizona's law, on the NYT's op-ed page here. Here's some more good coverage and analysis from the NYT, and the local POV from AZCentral.
Couple more points: The Supremes have ruled in the past that police are not violating the Fourth Amendment by asking you for ID when they suspect you're violating the law. Also, despite the Border Action Network's intent (love the acronym: BAN, think they might want to rethink that?) to sign up voters against the law to vote the governor out in November, 70 percent of likely Arizona voters support the law. Finally, try walking around Mexico or any other country without your passport. See what happens if you get stopped by the police
What do you think? Tell me I'm right or tell me I'm a racist in the comments. But I leave you with this thought: What part of illegal immigration is so difficult to understand?
Friday, April 23, 2010
Hear that? It may be the NCAA's death rattle
Read an interesting article in the NYT a couple of days ago. It was about college sports … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz … Yes, ladies, I can see your attention wandering already. I understand, that’s why I try to stay away from sports here, at least as much as possible. But this one was kinda interesting. Trust.
Anyway, the article was about possible expansion of the Big 10 which, strangely enough, has 11 teams since Penn State joined up (they even worked the "11" into their logo). This has, sadly, left them one team short of the 12 necessary required by the NCAA to hold a season-ending football championship game. Games, I might add, bring in boatloads of cash to the conferences that currently have them (see Big 12, Southeaster Conference and Atlantic Coast Conference).
But it didn’t stop there. The article went on to a more interesting prospect: continued expansion of not just the Big 10 but also the SEC, Pacific 10 and ACC. Sports guys and gals will notice two big BCS exclusions from that list: The Big 12 (which actually does have 12 teams) and the Big East.
The reason for their exclusion from the list of conferences looking to expand is because, the article goes on to say, the other four conferences will probably be expanding at the Big 12 and Big East’s expense.
The article stated: “Eventually, said Jake Crouthamel, Syracuse’s former athletic director, he saw the Big Ten, the Atlantic Coast Conference, the Southeastern Conference and the Pacific-10 forming four 16-team super-conferences and leaving the umbrella of the NCAA (Just imagine the fight between the SEC and the Pac-10 for Texas.) He said that those leagues would form their own basketball tournament to rival the NCAA tournament.”
Interesting. At least to me, because the most recent major conference expansion was at the singular expense of the Big East when Miami, Virginia Tech and Boston College joined the ACC. Apparently the Big East is the college sports equivalent of Milhouse Van Houten. This forced the Big East to raid Conference USA, adding Louisville, Cincinnati and the University of South Florida.
How might a future expansion go? Well, let’s take a look at how the conferences stand now. First the four “big” conferences:
ACC
Boston College
Clemson
Duke
Florida State
Georgia Tech
Maryland
Miami
North Carolina
NC State
Virginia
Virginia Tech
Wake Forrest
Pac 10
Arizona
Arizona State
Cal
Oregon
Oregon State
Stanford
UCLA
USC
Washington
Washington State
SEC
Arkansas
Alabama
Auburn
Florida
Georgia
Kentucky
Louisiana State
Mississippi
Mississippi State
South Carolina
Tennessee
Vanderbilt
Big 10
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Michigan
Michigan State
Minnesota
Northwestern
Ohio State
Penn State
Purdue
Wisconsin
That’s 45 teams, 19 short of the 64 teams needed for the four super-conferences. Now let’s see which schools are available for raiding…er, I mean expansion:
Big 12
Baylor
Colorado
Iowa State
Kansas
Kansas State
Missouri
Nebraska
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State
Texas
Texas A&M
Texas Tech
Big East*
Cincinnati
Connecticut
Louisville
Pittsburgh
Rutgers
South Florida
Syracuse
West Virginia
(*Note, these are just the schools that play football in the Big East. It has 16 member schools for men's basketball.)
That’s 20 teams to choose from, 21 if you count the eternal spinster-tease Notre Dame. Only 19 are needed to fill out the super-conferences so which two, assuming the Irish fling off their prom dress and finally get it on with a power conference, get left without a chair when the music stops?
It’s not as easy as you’d think. You can’t just draw some lines on the map and say these teams go here and these go there. There are other considerations like television markets and traditional rivalries. The three big rivalries that come to mind are Texas-Texas A&M, Texas-Oklahoma and Pitt-WVU. So, for any expansion let’s consider these teams joined at the hip. Wither one goest, so does the other.
The other question, TV markets, is a little tougher. Only few of these schools are in really big television markets, Rutgers in #1 NY-NJ market, Texas and Texas A&M (they have a couple to choose from, #s 5, 10, 37 and 48). Other choice prizes are, strangely, South Florida # 14, Colorado #16 Missouri #21 and Pittsburgh #23. Seven others, 10 if you count Baylor and Texas Tech in the same category as Texas and A&M, and Notre Dame because of its strange, national allure, fall in the to 50.
So, how does it work out? Which conferences get which schools? This is how I see it shaking out:
The Big 10 needs five so it will get Pitt, WVU, Iowa State, Nebraska and Missouri. Probably not what it's looking for when it comes to TV markets, but it does add a great Pitt-Penn State rivalry to the mix.
The Pac 10’s six pick-ups are Texas Tech, Baylor, Oklahoma State, Colorado, Kansas and Kansas State. Again, not stellar gets, but not bad considering it gives the conference an in in the Texas-Oklahoma recruiting landscape.
The SEC wins the battle for the Lone Star State adding Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma and Cincinnati. The first three are huge additions to what is probably the premiere football conference in the country. Cincinnati is the lucky plain girl with hot friends.
The schools joining the ACC are Rutgers, South Florida, UConn and Syracuse. TV-wise, the ACC probably wins the biggest, digging itself in deeper than a deer tick in the lucrative East Coast media markets.
The school left out? Louisville. If Notre Dame drops its panties it'll probably go into the Big 10 bumping Iowa State to the Pac 10, thereby leaving Baylor also out in the cold looking for a date (there's always C-USA). The only really hard decision was splitting Oklahoma and Oklahoma State up. But I think they’ll get over it with the increased coin they see in their school’s coffers.
And all of this doesn’t take into consideration two things: One, Notre Dame getting drunk and jumping into bed with the Big 10 before any of this can happen; and, two, the four conferences swapping some of the other teams around to make for more compact geographical footprints. Say, original ACC member South Carolina rejoining the conference for South Florida going into the SEC.
What do you think of the possible future awaiting major college sports? Tell me in the comments.
Anyway, the article was about possible expansion of the Big 10 which, strangely enough, has 11 teams since Penn State joined up (they even worked the "11" into their logo). This has, sadly, left them one team short of the 12 necessary required by the NCAA to hold a season-ending football championship game. Games, I might add, bring in boatloads of cash to the conferences that currently have them (see Big 12, Southeaster Conference and Atlantic Coast Conference).
But it didn’t stop there. The article went on to a more interesting prospect: continued expansion of not just the Big 10 but also the SEC, Pacific 10 and ACC. Sports guys and gals will notice two big BCS exclusions from that list: The Big 12 (which actually does have 12 teams) and the Big East.
The reason for their exclusion from the list of conferences looking to expand is because, the article goes on to say, the other four conferences will probably be expanding at the Big 12 and Big East’s expense.
The article stated: “Eventually, said Jake Crouthamel, Syracuse’s former athletic director, he saw the Big Ten, the Atlantic Coast Conference, the Southeastern Conference and the Pacific-10 forming four 16-team super-conferences and leaving the umbrella of the NCAA (Just imagine the fight between the SEC and the Pac-10 for Texas.) He said that those leagues would form their own basketball tournament to rival the NCAA tournament.”
Interesting. At least to me, because the most recent major conference expansion was at the singular expense of the Big East when Miami, Virginia Tech and Boston College joined the ACC. Apparently the Big East is the college sports equivalent of Milhouse Van Houten. This forced the Big East to raid Conference USA, adding Louisville, Cincinnati and the University of South Florida.
How might a future expansion go? Well, let’s take a look at how the conferences stand now. First the four “big” conferences:
ACC
Boston College
Clemson
Duke
Florida State
Georgia Tech
Maryland
Miami
North Carolina
NC State
Virginia
Virginia Tech
Wake Forrest
Pac 10
Arizona
Arizona State
Cal
Oregon
Oregon State
Stanford
UCLA
USC
Washington
Washington State
SEC
Arkansas
Alabama
Auburn
Florida
Georgia
Kentucky
Louisiana State
Mississippi
Mississippi State
South Carolina
Tennessee
Vanderbilt
Big 10
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Michigan
Michigan State
Minnesota
Northwestern
Ohio State
Penn State
Purdue
Wisconsin
That’s 45 teams, 19 short of the 64 teams needed for the four super-conferences. Now let’s see which schools are available for raiding…er, I mean expansion:
Big 12
Baylor
Colorado
Iowa State
Kansas
Kansas State
Missouri
Nebraska
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State
Texas
Texas A&M
Texas Tech
Big East*
Cincinnati
Connecticut
Louisville
Pittsburgh
Rutgers
South Florida
Syracuse
West Virginia
(*Note, these are just the schools that play football in the Big East. It has 16 member schools for men's basketball.)
That’s 20 teams to choose from, 21 if you count the eternal spinster-tease Notre Dame. Only 19 are needed to fill out the super-conferences so which two, assuming the Irish fling off their prom dress and finally get it on with a power conference, get left without a chair when the music stops?
It’s not as easy as you’d think. You can’t just draw some lines on the map and say these teams go here and these go there. There are other considerations like television markets and traditional rivalries. The three big rivalries that come to mind are Texas-Texas A&M, Texas-Oklahoma and Pitt-WVU. So, for any expansion let’s consider these teams joined at the hip. Wither one goest, so does the other.
The other question, TV markets, is a little tougher. Only few of these schools are in really big television markets, Rutgers in #1 NY-NJ market, Texas and Texas A&M (they have a couple to choose from, #s 5, 10, 37 and 48). Other choice prizes are, strangely, South Florida # 14, Colorado #16 Missouri #21 and Pittsburgh #23. Seven others, 10 if you count Baylor and Texas Tech in the same category as Texas and A&M, and Notre Dame because of its strange, national allure, fall in the to 50.
So, how does it work out? Which conferences get which schools? This is how I see it shaking out:
The Big 10 needs five so it will get Pitt, WVU, Iowa State, Nebraska and Missouri. Probably not what it's looking for when it comes to TV markets, but it does add a great Pitt-Penn State rivalry to the mix.
The Pac 10’s six pick-ups are Texas Tech, Baylor, Oklahoma State, Colorado, Kansas and Kansas State. Again, not stellar gets, but not bad considering it gives the conference an in in the Texas-Oklahoma recruiting landscape.
The SEC wins the battle for the Lone Star State adding Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma and Cincinnati. The first three are huge additions to what is probably the premiere football conference in the country. Cincinnati is the lucky plain girl with hot friends.
The schools joining the ACC are Rutgers, South Florida, UConn and Syracuse. TV-wise, the ACC probably wins the biggest, digging itself in deeper than a deer tick in the lucrative East Coast media markets.
The school left out? Louisville. If Notre Dame drops its panties it'll probably go into the Big 10 bumping Iowa State to the Pac 10, thereby leaving Baylor also out in the cold looking for a date (there's always C-USA). The only really hard decision was splitting Oklahoma and Oklahoma State up. But I think they’ll get over it with the increased coin they see in their school’s coffers.
And all of this doesn’t take into consideration two things: One, Notre Dame getting drunk and jumping into bed with the Big 10 before any of this can happen; and, two, the four conferences swapping some of the other teams around to make for more compact geographical footprints. Say, original ACC member South Carolina rejoining the conference for South Florida going into the SEC.
What do you think of the possible future awaiting major college sports? Tell me in the comments.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Head slap
Yet another in the long, long, long list of things all of us should have thought of but didn't. The WaPo article about the this iPhone app for that very special time of the month is hilarious.
[Hand to forehead!]
[Slapping sound!]
That little woman symbol with the horns is especially cute.a
[Hand to forehead!]
[Slapping sound!]
That little woman symbol with the horns is especially cute.a
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