On my honor…

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this here before, but I’m an Eagle Scout. Yeah, big surprise, right?

I joined my Boy Scout troop in the first week of October 1980 and went on my first camping trip the following weekend. It was glorious. We were out in the woods, learning to make fire, cooking our own food over those flames, tying knots, using knives and axes – all kinds of manly skills. Later on that evening we all gathered around the campfire and sang songs and had a great time.

I spent almost seven years as a Boy Scout earning my merit badges and the various ranks on my “Trail of the Eagle” as it’s called. I was learned skills and spent time with other boys who enjoyed the same things I did. Many of these skills, I’m sure, will keep me alive while the rest of you are the main course at future zombie buffets.

My troop has a storied history. It honored its first Eagle Scout in 1965 and has honored 169 more young men as of 2011. In 1987 I was the 59th. The list includes seven pairs of brothers – my younger brother is number 66 – and four sets of three brothers – there would have been one more, but my youngest brother never finished his Eagle. Between 1973 and 2011, there was only one year, 1989, when no one earned their Eagle. However, I think that may be because in 1988, 1990 and 1991, there were 25. Twenty-five Eagle Scouts in four years. Think about that for a minute, 25 young men who each dedicated five to seven years to achieving a goal that, truthfully, not many reach.  

Suffice it to say, it’s not easy to become an Eagle Scout.

That said it shouldn’t be impossible for a boy to aspire to that goal just because he may be gay (or doesn’t believe in a god, for that matter). It’s difficult enough in the first place. Boy Scouts of America shouldn’t force young men who are already going through the stress and fear that comes with being different – stress that can and does drive some boys to suicide – to give up the support of their peers in Scouting.

In my opinion, Boy Scouts of America, like other organizations, has been taken over by radically conservative forces. Forces who believe that because someone is gay they are also a predator just salivating at the idea of getting their sons alone in the woods. If I have a son someday, I’d like him to have the same experiences I did as a Boy Scout – they’re an important part of who I am today – but I don’t think I’d allow him to join an organization that institutionalizes hatred.

It’s time for the Boy Scouts of America to drop this ridiculous policy and allow every boy the chance to stand in front of his family and friends as that red-white-and-blue ribbon suspending a silver eagle is pinned to his chest. It’s the right thing to do.

A cautionary tale...

You know what today is, right? So get off your ass and head to the polls.

While walking down the street one day a senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and he’s met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator..

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really? I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the Devil, who’s a very friendly guy, and who’s having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises … The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven …”

So, 24 hours pass with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the day’s gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil smiles at him and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted.”

The 2010 campaign ends today, get out and vote and make it count. Sadly, the 2012 campaign starts tomorrow.

Sigh.

Fear? Sanity? Sanity? Fear? We'll go with...

I'll go with a little bit of insanity. For the three or four of you who weren't on the Mall on Saturday for the Rally to Restore Sanity/Keep Fear Alive, it was a bit of a, hmmm, mad house. I heard an estimate on CNN that 200,000 people attended Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's throw down this past weekend. The anchor did take a bit too much satisfaction in relaying the news this was double the number people who came for the Glen Beck event in September.

Here's my photographic journey from Saturday. I should point out, these are not the best pictures I've ever taken. It was way too crowded for that and the light was really weird. But I think they're representative, especially in that there's none of the stage or any of the performers. I never got close enough to even see the stage. I did hear a bit. The Mythbusters doing something with a wave and Colbert emerging from his Fear Bunker. Aside from that, nada.

Anyway, we got an inkling of what the Mall would be like when we weren't able to get on the first two trains that came through the station because they were so full. When we arrived at Navy Memorial/Archives, it looked a little like this:

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That was the ground-level shot with the camera held above my head. This next one is the bird's-eye view:

The signs were pretty interesting, for example:

Considering my love of The Princess Bride, this was one of my favorites:

Very funny ... Of course, considering the double meaning of the word, that might not be such a bad thing. On a side note, I can't believe there's a Wikipedia page for this.

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Another of my favorites:

Somebody also had a sign reading, "Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others," a fine nod to the Treehouse of Horrors.

I find myself in agreement with Ben on this ...

Franklin didn't say this, but I'm sure he'd agree ...

This is looking west toward the Washington Monument. I have no doubt the 200k estimate is accurate. There were, to use a technical term, a metric fuck ton of people at the rally.

Indeed...

Well, I guess this answers that question ...

Is it really worth climbing up a light post to get a better view?

Or, for that matter, a porta shitter...

There's always one asshole in every crowd ... Seriously dude ...

And the winner for one of the best costumes of the day ... You can't see it in this shot, but it was an anatomically correct penis ...

Recycling is good, unless it's a protest sign from four years ago ...

And, on a lighter note, I saw this wonderfully decorated house up on Capitol Hill. Somebody takes their Halloween seriously ...

Hope everyone who went had a good time. Now, there's one thing left to do: Get out and vote tomorrow. Going to a rally is fine, but you've got to follow up on that enthusiasm.

Vote to restore sanity tomorrow.

Four freedoms

“We look forward to a world founded upon four essential human freedoms. The first is freedom of speech and expression – everywhere in the world. The second is freedom of every person to worship God in his own way – everywhere in the world. The third is freedom from want – everywhere in the world. The fourth is freedom from fear – anywhere in the world.”
– President Franklin D. Roosevelt, Message to Congress, January 6, 1941

Anyone know what today is the anniversary of? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

On this day, 124 years ago (1886 for those who don’t want to do the math) Liberty Enlightening the World was dedicated on Bedloe’s Island in New York Harbor. The NYT article from that day begins: “The statue of Liberty yesterday was seen through a mist darkly. Piercing winds blew around Bedlow's Island, and the numerous workmen, who were not in any way protected from the weather, worked uncomfortably.”

The description of the weather from Oct. 27, 1886, I think, also describes the political climate we see throughout America today, five days out from the midterm election. Liberty is, indeed, shrouded in a dark mist. At a time when compromise is needed, many Americans are getting set to elect leaders who will do their best to divide us more than ever.

My brother once posed a simple question to me, which I in turn ask you: Does the United States have a two-party system?

Seems like an easy one, but it's not. As much as one side likes to call the other socialists, and they like to respond with fascist (which are indeed two distinct parties), what we have here is a failure to comun’cate. In America we have a one party system. A one-party system divided by ideology since both parties actually believe in democracy. They just have a different way of showing it and different ideas on how it should be implemented.

Contrary to popular beliefs, President Bush was no more a fascist than President Obama is a socialist. If responding to an attack on our country however badly carried out (the response, not the attack) is fascism, and wanting to provide health care to all, however badly conceive, is socialism, well then, sign me up for both newsletters.

I remember being the only guy in my Marine platoon to vote for Bill Clinton. Interestingly enough, even in that supposedly radically conservative environment, it wasn't enough to generate more than a comment or two.

Fast forward to the present day and it seems differing political views are enough to set neighbor against neighbor and brother against brother. Strangely enough, I had one woman tell me she couldn't date me because I wasn't liberal enough, and another a year or so later end a relationship because I was too liberal. To me, that would seem to mean I'm doing it just about right.

Sadly, political tolerance has become the exception rather than the rule in this country. Some recent headlines:

Head Stomp Victim: Paul Supporters Planned It

Violent rhetoric on the trail

Miller security guards handcuff editor

Yes, I know all three of these examples involve Tea Party-backed Republican candidates. However, if I’d heard of a Democratic candidate’s security guards handcuffing a reporter at a public event, you can be sure I’d take note of it.

To me the first article, the one about Rand Paul’s supporters, brings to mind images of Bull Conner’s bull whips, fire hoses and attack dogs. Silencing an opposing political voice through violence is not the American way. Neither is shouting them down, I’d like to point out. I truly thought we’d moved beyond stepping on someone’s head or voice as a political act.

Seems I was wrong.

I seem to remember there being a question on a couple of different forms I filled out for my security clearance asking “Have you ever advocated the violent overthrow of the United States?” Now tell me, how can someone running for a seat in the Senate truthfully answer “no” to that question if they’ve said “Americans might seek Second Amendment remedies to their problems with government”? How can they honestly say “I do” when they are asked to swear or affirm they will support and defend the constitution of the United States as they take the oath of office?

I don’t think they actually understand the Constitution if they feel this way.

One of the most important things I learned at the School of Journalism of Mass Communication at the University of North Carolina is that the First Amendment wasn’t the first amendment. It was actually the third. The real first amendment didn’t pass and the second amendment finally passed in 1992 (202 years after introduction) becoming the 27th Amendment.

However, even if they weren’t first, these words are not a bad basis for governing: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Read those words again carefully. There are candidates out there who believe there should be a state-sponsored religion. They believe in censoring speech and muzzling the press. They believe it’s OK to attack people who gather to ask them questions they don’t want to answer.

We all deserve the four freedoms Roosevelt talked about in 1941, especially freedom from Fear itself. I should not be afraid to express myself in public. I should not be afraid to go to the church, synagogue, mosque or temple of my choice. I should not be afraid to go to a doctor because I’m worried I won’t be able to pay the bill.

For the past 10 or so years I’ve been a firm believer in the need for a third party in this country. Sadly, I thought it would arise from the voters in the middle who’d lost their voices to the fringes of both parties. How could we have known it would explode from the far right?

There are some ugly things happening and being said today in this country. Things I'm sure our founders would cringe at. If they could figure out how to forge this country despite their differences – and they had some doozies – I'd like to think we could rediscover that spirit of compromise. You gotta meet the other guy halfway.

In the end, absolutism never works for anyone.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
– P.J. O’Rourke, Parliament of Whores

A line in the sand

Pundits and loudmouths from coast to coast, liberal and conservative alike, are having a field day now that Arizona Republican Gov. Jan Brewer signed into law legislation giving the state's law enforcement officers greater powers when it comes to fighting illegal immigration.

"Governor Brewer has to be held responsible for signing what is now an international shame on the state of Arizona," said Jennifer Allen, executive-director of Border Action Network, an immigrant rights group in an MSNBC story. My favorite part of the story is in the lede graf: "...opponents used refried beans to smear swastikas on the state Capitol."

Apparently, anyone who has not vowed to fight this law with Adamantium resolve is a racist Nazi (is that redundant?), and those protesting against it are bleeding-heart liberal day laborers out to ruin America. And me? What do I think? Well...

I'd first like to point out the opponents have already violated Godwin's Law so make of that what you will.

I'm in favor of the law. I ask you this: What is so wrong about asking cops to enforce all of the laws? If you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law and you can be arrested. If that law happens to be an immigration law, hey, guess what? You're going back home.

The big argument folks have against this is they say immigration is a federal matter and states aren't allowed to interfere with that prerogative. I call bullshit on that for a couple of reasons. National security is also a federal matter, but do you think local cops are going to stop investigating that strange fellow getting shipments of fertilizer and diesel fuel? Controlling illegal immigration is a national security matter too. How hard do you think it will be for some of those groups around the world who hate America and Americans (it doesn't matter what color you are or whether you're a Republican, Democrat or Tea bagger, they hate you just the same) to send a couple of their disciples across the Mexico-Arizona border? Probably not that hard.

Also, seeing as how we in D.C. live far, far away from that line in the hot, dry desert sand, we probably don't realize there is an actual war going on in northern Mexico that often ends up in Arizona, California, Texas and New Mexico. Mexican cops and soldiers south of the border are getting killed by drug gangs faster than our troops are in Iraq and Afghanistan. This drug war, a real war unlike the one our government has been unsuccessfully waging for decades, is a real shooting war and it's spilling over into the U.S.

Since I'm not going to go into the objections point-by-point, you can read a really good explanation by Kris Kobach, who helped write Arizona's law, on the NYT's op-ed page here. Here's some more good coverage and analysis from the NYT, and the local POV from AZCentral.

Couple more points: The Supremes have ruled in the past that police are not violating the Fourth Amendment by asking you for ID when they suspect you're violating the law. Also, despite the Border Action Network's intent (love the acronym: BAN, think they might want to rethink that?) to sign up voters against the law to vote the governor out in November, 70 percent of likely Arizona voters support the law. Finally, try walking around Mexico or any other country without your passport. See what happens if you get stopped by the police

What do you think? Tell me I'm right or tell me I'm a racist in the comments. But I leave you with this thought: What part of illegal immigration is so difficult to understand?

The shallow end of the N.C. gene pool

I generally read/glance at the headlines of a couple of newspapers Web sites every day. A couple of the papers are ones I’ve worked for, others are from places of interest in my work and the others are from places I’ve lived.

It’s this third group, as an adopted son of the Old North State, I’m going to address today. Here’s a headline I was greeted with at www.newsobser.com:

"McHenry's initiative: Put Reagan on $50 bill"

Yes, yes my friends, Patrick McHenry, another Reagan-worshipping legislator has weighed in. Instead of President Ulysses S. Grant who, you know, LED THE GRAND ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC TO VICTORY IN THE CIVIL WAR!, McHenry would prefer our 40th president, Ronald Reagan.

Don’t get me wrong, the Great Communicator wasn’t a bad president in my opinion, and I should know. Unlike the gentleman (using this term ver, ver loosely) from the Tar Heel state (yep, two words: Tar Heel), I was able to read when Ronnie was elected in 1980.

Reagan’s presidency lasted from years 5 through 13 of the 34-year-old McHenry’s life. So it may be understandable, although not really since he's a fucking U.S. representative, that he wouldn’t know that while Reagan was a good president, he doesn’t come close to being a great president. Grant wasn’t a great president either, but he was a much, much more important figure in American history.

In McHenry’s own words: “Every generation needs its own heroes. One decade into the 21st century, it’s time to honor the last great president of the 20th and give President Reagan a place beside Presidents Roosevelt and Kennedy.”

Moron.

The N&O points out: “President Franklin Roosevelt’s likeness is on the dime, and President John F. Kennedy’s is on the half-dollar.” I feel I should point out that both of the presidents he mentions here died in office, so Reagan does have that in common with them. Oh, wait a minute. I meant their brains stopped functioning in office, so that’s the common factor. (Also, strangely, they’re both democrats).

Basically, the guy’s too stupid to pull the names Jackson ($20) and Franklin ($100, and not a president Rep. McHenry in case you’re reading) off the top of his head.

Among things named Reagan are a building, aircraft carrier and an airport. I don’t think we need to slap his face on the fifty.

The genetic wading pool is warm for a reason
Another of North Carolina’s mentally challenged reps, Tim D’Annunzio, has laid out a platform that calls for abolishing much of the federal government. According to the N&O: The plan states, in part: "Abolish the Departments of Education, Health and Human Services, Agriculture, Energy, Labor, Housing and Urban Development, Interior, Transportation, Treasury, and Home Land [sic] Security. Any duties remaining that are Constitutional should be rolled into other Departments.”

I was all set to mock him, and then I found his blog. So, so much material here that I can’t go on. I only took a glance, but I’ve gotta read through it to do it justice.

But here’s a preview from D’Annunzio’s blog, “I don’t just hope the Obama fails, I pray many times a day for it.”

Classy dude. Pray for the failure of the president. And you call yourself an American.

I can’t wait. I’m feeling my political mojo returning.

A year in, Jan. 20, 2010

President Andrew Shepherd: Good. My nervousness exists on... several levels. Number one, and this is in no particular order, I haven't done this in a pretty long time. Number two, uh, any expectations that you might have, given the fact that I'm... you know...
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Sydney Ellen Wade: [approaching seductively] The most powerful man in the world?
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President Andrew Shepherd: Exactly, thank you. I think it's important you remember that's a political distinction that comes with the office. I mean, if, uh, Eisenhower were here instead of me, he'd be dead by now... and number three...
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– The American President

A year ago today, as I write this, my butt was planted on my couch watching several hundred thousand people freeze their collective asses off on the Mall while the president was inaugurated. I’d thought about going down – I only live in Arlington and it’s not that far (as I tell all my District-bound friends) – but damn, it was cold that day. Seriously cold. So cold I think the Shoebox Dweller even may have felt a bit of a chill while she was here.

But I digress. In fact, I feel like I've digressed for more than a year now.

I started writing The Foggy Dew back in July 2008, right in the thick of the campaign season. It was one of the first campaigns since the ’98 mid-terms elections in North Carolina where I wasn’t working for a newspaper and I guess I felt…well, a little unfulfilled. Especially after spending the six years in one of the last blue counties in Texas where the politics is meaner than a skillet full of rattlesnakes.

As the man said this day last year, it’s time for a change. Change I can believe in. Now I’m not gonna turn this space into some kind of political blog, I enjoy writing about some of the silly/stupid stuff I come across, posting my pictures and telling the occasional rude or lewd joke. But these are important times for America and there are issues swirling about us we need to talk about so we can find answers we can agree on.

Some questions, like abortion, I’m not going to touch. The sides are so polarized and so hateful toward each other I don’t feel there can ever be a single answer that will satisfy either side even a little.

Others, though, deserve a discussion – health care, for a start, but also government spending and the friggin’ national debt those assholes downtown have run up, gay rights, international relations and trade, energy policy…the list while not endless, is long enough for our purposes (that’s what she said).

What I’d really like is to hear from people about what they’d like to talk about. You know, a little give-and-take, a bit of back-and-forth if you know what I mean. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more eh? It’d be kind of like giving me an assignment, like my editors used to. I enjoyed that because, with almost every story I wrote, I learned something.

Whadda ya say? Anyone feel like a chat?

Don’t give a rat’s ass

It seems every bleeding-heart is up in arms today over reports CIA interrogators were mean to terrorists. If, that is, bleeding-hearts aren’t opposed to being up in arms, so to speak. Anyway, this article from MSNBC details some of the shocking claims against these evil, bad men.

The CIA that is, not, of course, the terrorists who we all know are freedom-loving patriots.

Now I’m not saying I’d want to share a meal with someone who threatened to kill my children or have my mother raped in front of me, but it would certainly get me thinking. Thinking about what information I could give up to avoid such things.

I hesitate to use the word “war,” as in “Global War on Terror” because it tends to diminish the term. Kinda like the “war on drugs” or the “war on poverty.” Yeah, both of those have been going swimmingly.

The truth is though, we are engaged in an armed conflict. An armed conflict with groups who think kidnapping people, cutting their heads off with knives and videotaping the proceedings is a legitimate act. An armed conflict with people who would be quite happy to kill you, your family, friends and everyone else you know and don’t know without blinking an eye.

Did you ever see The Untouchables? Remember the scene where Sean Connery got fed up with the mob guy not talking, so he went outside and grabbed the dead body of another mob guy? “What’s amatter? Can’t ya talk with a gun in your mouth?” he asks the corpse before shooting him to scare the live one into talking.

“They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!”

I have no problem using the *Chicago* way. Although I’m sure people I like and respect will disagree with me. But that’s the beauty of this, as civilized people, we can agree to disagree and then go out for a Jameson’s and talk about it some more.

There is one funny thing about this suit from the American Civil Liberties Union. In its efforts to protect terrorists already in custody the ACLU is endangering the lives of terrorists’ pals who have yet to be captured.

How the hell can that be you ask?

Well, it’s very simple and it goes like this: Since dealing with captured terrorists is getting to be such a gigantic pain in the ass with you standing a really good chance of ending up in federal prison, there just won’t be prisoners. In the future the good guys – that’s us for those of you not following, our Marines, soldiers, SEALs, CIA guys and whatnot – will just shoot the bad guys in the head, launch a Hellfire missile from a Predator drone or put a laser dot on the target to make sure the GBU-12 hits the spot. You see, it’s a whole lot easier and safer for our troops to kill the bad guys than to try to take them alive. All things being equal, which choice do you think they’ll make?

Call it an effect of the Law of Unintended Consequences.

So I’d like to take this opportunity to say thanks to ACLU (who’s work, I should add, I generally support) for doing its part to keep our troops safe. Although the loss of actionable intelligence from live prisoners might tend to make the rest of us less safe.

Oh well, everything in life is a trade off.

Cool yer jets, dude

I got yelled at by a friend Saturday night.

Now this normally wouldn’t bother me, and it didn’t really since I understand his passion for the issue that was at hand. But, and here’s the but, I see this one-way conversation – him yelling at me – as yet another example of how the growing rancor in our American discourse is leading us down a rocky and dangerous path.

After 10 or so minutes of agreeing again and again with him and still getting yelled at, I left. Friend or no, I refuse to be treated this way.

The topics, if you’re interested, were gay rights and gay marriage or, rather, my friend’s inability to get married due to anti-gay marriage laws where he’s living. As anyone who’s read the Foggy Dew for any length of time knows, in the mixed up gulyás of my personal beliefs, the right to marry anyone you damn well please is thrown in there with the right to keep and bear arms and the notion the other 535 elected members of our government should have term limits.

I believe the words, “South Africa allows gay marriage. In my opinion America’s a third world country when it comes to civil rights,” were yelled at me with spit flying. While I’m not going to go quite that far, I do feel people should be less concerned with what happens in their neighbors’ bedrooms and more worried about what happens in the schools and streets of their towns.

Yelling at me, no matter how shrilly, is not going to change my beliefs. Others, though, might tend to go in the opposite direction. And this is the problem we face.

Where political opponents once could sit down and civilly discuss the issues at odds between them, it seems that now in America, volume is king. If someone disagrees with you (or, it seems, even if they agree), just start shouting louder and louder until everyone’s message is drowned out.

Maybe you’ve heard about the crap going on around the country lately with screaming and chanting hoards assaulting their representatives and neighbors with their unintelligible din. And, for the record, this shit is coming from both sides of the health care debate.

Do these idiots really believe there are Nazis in our government? Seriously? Also, according to Godwin’s Law, by invoking Nazis, they’ve already lost the argument. Anything they now say is worthless.

Health care is just one of the elephants in America’s living room (the others to be discussed at a later time). But the only thing all this wailing and gnashing of teeth is going to do is cause the elephants to stamped. And, when that happens, the problems are bound to crush us to a bloody pulp.

Isn’t it interesting how conservatives in the health care debate invoke the National Socialist German Workers Party against the liberals and, in the gay marriage debate, the liberals do the same to the conservatives? Strange, are we all Nazis? (Talk amongst yer’selves on this one.) Instead of yelling and calling each other Nazis, wouldn’t it be better if we all took a moment to listen?

If we don’t, the only thing that’s going to happen is we’re all going to go deaf.

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Morons galore

You know how a blow job and other stupid crap kinda took over Bill Clinton's presidency?

And how knuckle heads kept on giving George Bush a hard time about drinking, drugs and his time in the National Guard?

Here's me hoping the "controversy" over whether or not President Obama was actually born in the United States doesn't gain any traction. Ever.

Here, watch this video.



This woman, and the other "birthers" just amaze me. You could probably show them a video of the president's Aug. 4, 1961 birth in Hawaii and they'd say, "Can't be real. They didn't have videotape back then." Which is true, but a lot of old footage has been transferred to tape, but that, of course, makes for the possibilities of fakery.

Do these screaming and wailing citizens really believe the GOP would not have dug up the "facts" of Obama's birth and trotted them out during the election? Are they so, so misguided they need something, anything to latch onto to make their lives seem important?

This link here goes to a story about an annoying shock jock who apparently had some unkind things to say about the prez. Don't really care about that, but if you skip down to the comments, that's where the interesting stuff is. The comment about how, because his father was a British subject, Obama is one too and ineligible to be president is interesting. According to current American law (can't find the one from 1961, sorry) Title 8, Chapter 12, Subchapter III, Part I: §1401 (g):

"The following shall be nationals and citizens of the United States at birth:
(g) a person born outside the geographical limits of the United States and its outlying possessions of parents one of whom is an alien, and the other a citizen of the United States who, prior to the birth of such person, was physically present in the United States or its outlying possessions for a period or periods totaling not less than five years, at least two of which were after attaining the age of fourteen years...

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So, even if Obama was born on the friggin' moon, because his mom was an American citizen, who had spent at least five years of her life in the U.S., that makes him a natural born American.

So, to all the people out there gnashing their teeth demanding the release of Obama's "long-form birth certificate" that will, obviously, prove he's not eligible to be president, I say this: Get some new tin foil for your hats and lock yourselves in your basements. The presidency has not been usurped by a "Kenyan muslim," but earned by a mixed race man born in Hawaii.

(And even if he wasn't, it wouldn't matter since he'd still be a natural born American citizen so shut the fuck up.)

Random firings of neurons

I really haven’t been feeling it the last couple of days when it comes to writing. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because … hell, if I knew I’d fix it. I started writing something yesterday and got pretty far into it, and then realized it was crap. You may see it, you may not, but that won’t happen until it’s up to snuff.

What I think happened to my muse lately is this: I started this thing almost a year ago to talk about politics and life and art and drinking and this, that and the other. But mainly politics. Anyone who knows me knows I enjoy a good debate. We were in the midst of a hotly contested presidential election with an almost, but not quite, foregone outcome.

But now, now the political debate has almost all but disappeared from the public discourse. It’s almost like it was 1994 again. Or, better, 2002. At least in ’94 we had one party in the White House and another in the Speaker’s chair.

Does everyone remember what it felt like in 2002? A widely popular wartime president called 1600 home, and a GOP almost super-majority ruled the Hill and K Street with iron fists. To criticize them and what they were doing was un-American and, when you get right down to it, damn near traitorous. Reporters stopped asking questions and digging up the facts and we the people accepted because we didn’t want to be accused of “forgetting 9-11.”

As if that could ever happen.

But guess what folks? We now have an even more wildly popular president and even bigger majorities controlling the House and Senate, it’s just this time they’re all democrats. The words have changed, but the venom behind them hasn’t.

Now, instead of being an un-American traitor when you voice a dissenting opinion, you’re a closed-minded, reactionary hillbilly Klan member.

My personal political leanings are mixed up enough I can be sure I have at least one that will piss off folks on either side of the aisle with equal vehemence. Such as:

I fear a government controlled by Democrats as much as – if not a little more than – the previous Republican leadership.

While I don’t personally agree with Miss California, she has every right to believe and say she is against gay marriage. She also has the right to not be attacked for her opinion.

I think Congress needs to turn the volume down from 11 on the whole he said-she said gotcha investigation into who knew what and when and why and how and where and who was doing the enhanced interrogations. Is it wrong to smash someone’s fingers and toes joint-by-joint with a ball peen hammer as you water board them? Perhaps. Were innocent lives saved and bad guys shot in the head because of the results? Also, perhaps.

A conversation I had last week is a good example. As I was warming up in my reply to a “violence is never the answer and true strength comes from inside” type statement, the discussion was shortstopped by the other party. I believe my comments about man being a top predator (not the top, but a top but that’s something for another day) and national power coming from the barrel of a gun were call cynical and considered not worthy of serious reflection.

Cynical? Perhaps. But true? History would seem to back me up. At least for now.

Anyway, I could go off on this tangent forever, so I’ll get back on point. And my point is we should be careful what we wish for, ‘cause we just might get it.

Also, why the hell do the new razors make it so bloody hard for me to shave right under my nose? Seriously, have they even tested these blades?

And, before I forget, thanks be to Saint Margarita on the Rocks that Ted Mosby, architect, did NOT get back together with Stella on this week’s HIMYM. He told her how he felt, comedy ensued, and he was left standing on the sidewalk with his yellow umbrella.

Jack Sparrow gets one between the running lights

I guess crime really doesn’t pay.

Instead of paying the Somali pirates who’d taken a U.S. sea captain hostage the $2 million they asked for – like many governments have done lately to recover their own sailors – the U.S. Navy chose a much cheaper solution: three bullets.

Even counting the cost of the fuel oil burned by the flotilla of ships surrounding the lifeboat carrying Capt. Richard Phillips of the Maersk Alabama and the three now, very, very much dead pirates, I’d say they chose the better alternative.

All in all, a very pleasing outcome to the situation. For more, read the NYT’s article.

The article does bring up a couple of interesting points in my mind, chief among them is this: Why the hell did the Navy have to get permission from the president to shoot these fuckers? Does it really take executive authority of that nature to kill foreign pirates actually in the act of piracy?

Or, the less desirable option in my mind, someone in the administration told them they couldn’t shoot without executive permission.

Actually, both of these choices are pretty distasteful. One the right hand you have military leaders unwilling to take a clearly military action without political coverage from above, making them unworthy of their commands. Seriously, how hard is it to order SEALs to shoot three guys? Or, on the left hand, you have political officials who’ve told the military they’re cops now (no offense to the cops out there, but your job is different from the military) and they can’t just kill the bad guys.

[Note: Upon further reading about this situation in other news sources, it seems the actual shoot order came from the ship's captain under the White House's guidance of "all necessary measures" to recover Phillips safely. While the NYT's description was not inaccurate, it could have been a little clearer. My bad. The situations I described above, however, are not unknown in military/political decision-making process, unfortunately.]

This is a situation, the whole “Somali pirates in the Gulf of Aden” thing, requires only one order from the president: Shoot to kill on sight. Use missiles if you like and send us the strike footage, we’ll make popcorn and host a screening on the Mall.

See, one of the things the NYT got right in its article was this line: “The pirates threatened to kill Captain Phillips if attacked, and the result was tragicomic: the world’s most powerful navy vs. a lifeboat.”

I can understand our diplomatic restraint when dealing with Iran, Germany, Syria, France Venezuela, Canada, hell, even North Korea. They’re nation-states and a different set of rules apply. (I’m kidding about Canada and Germany. OK, France too, though they do so try my patience sometimes.)

A little more from the NYT:

In Somalia itself, other pirates reacted angrily to the news that Captain Phillips had been rescued, and some said they would avenge the deaths of their colleagues by killing Americans in sea hijackings to come.

' "Every country will be treated the way it treats us," Abdullahi Lami, one of the pirates holding a Greek ship anchored in the pirate den of Gaan, a central Somali town, was quoted by The Associated Press as saying in a telephone interview. "In the future, America will be the one mourning and crying." '

Two words jackass: Get bent. Somewhere out there, there’s a SEAL, Ranger, Marine or Delta sniper with your name on a bullet.

Here’s a nice little mission for the world’s most powerful navy: blockade the “pirate den” of Gaan with a couple of destroyers (or half the U.S. Fifth Fleet for that matter) and then hunt down the pirates and kill them. They try to leave port: shoot ‘em. They threaten to kill any of the 200 or so hostages they’ve taken off of the 12 ships they’re holding, shoot them some more. They actually shoot any of the hostages, shoot them even more. In a situation like this, power comes straight from the barrel of a gun or, in our case, lots and lots of guns. Lots and lots of really big fucking guns.

Does anyone really think these guys are ever going to go back to fishing? No? Didn’t think so, so we’re going to have to kill them anyway at some point so why not now?

Sean Connery said it best as Officer Jim Malone in The Untouchables: “They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!”

What the hell fun is it being a great power if you can’t kill a bunch of pirates? Seriously, it’s not like anyone (worth mentioning) is going to complain. This would also have the beneficial side-effect of making some of the other nations that annoy us just a bit scared of what we might do to them if they fuck with us.

A little known historical fact: The United States’ very, very first expression of power overseas was dealing with the Barbary pirates in the Mediterranean. Instead of paying tribute to the pirates (which is exactly what is happening now), the U.S. decided to build a navy and take the fight to the pirates. (If you want, you can still see one of these ships, USS Constitution – “Old Ironsides” – in Boston Harbor.)

It took a little while, but in the end the United States was the first major power to stop paying tribute to the Barbary pirates. The exploits of some even ended up in a song:

“From the Halls of Montezuma, To the shores of Tripoli. We have fought our country’s battles in the air, on land and sea.”

Looking Forward to a View of the Past

I watched a bit of football yesterday. For those of you now thinking “Ugh, a post about sports, not for me!” don’t worry, this won’t be about football. Trust me.

Except, of course, to say “GO STEELERS!!”

As much as I enjoy watching football, it can be a bit mindless, so my mind had a chance to wander there and here. Here being a piece on Sunday Morning about the legacy of George Bush’s eight years in the Oval Office.

There were experts and historians and political operatives quoted throughout, all with a different view of how history might view Bush’s two terms. Some of them came right out and said “H”istory would view the former Texas governor as one of the worst presidents, if not the worst, in U.S. history. Others though, mainly the guy who once worked for W, were kinder in their assessment, asking us only for the detachment of time before rushing to judgment.

My first inclination is to lean toward the second option.

Owwww. Quit throwing things and yelling at me. If you give me a minute, I’ll try to explain.

Fact: Bush has done, and allowed others to do in his name, some incredibly stupid and misguided things during the past eight years. First, and foremost on this list, is giving the order to invade Iraq.

The second thing is invading, but ignoring his generals who, just maybe, might know a little bit more about making war than people who’ve worked in think tanks and government their entire lives. A prime example of this is the former Army Chief of Staff and incoming Secretary of Veterans Affairs, Eric Shinseki. Shinseki told Congress before the war it would probably take 400k or so troops to control Iraq after it was conquered. Donald Rumsfeld and the other neocons disagreed and Shinseki was ingloriously railroaded out of the Army.

The problem was, you see, Shinseki was right and everybody else in charge was wrong.

The biggest screw up I and many others see is the fighting in Iraq has diverted valuable resources from fighting the real enemy: Terrorists. Containment worked on the Soviets for 45 years, and Saddam for more than 10, there’s no reason we couldn’t have kept that up cheaply for a long, long time while we let our soldiers, Marines and smart bombs hunt Osama bin Laden in the mountains of Afghanistan.

Perhaps, if we weren’t distracting ourselves invading Iraq, but instead maintained the status quo, things might not be quite so tenuous right now in Afghanistan and Pakistan and all the other –stans. Actually, there’s no perhaps about it, things would be going better.

The problem I have, though, with condemning Bush so quickly is we don’t know what we don’t know. Governments keep secrets for a good reason, and governments are forced to do bad things to keep you and me safe.

This is where things get sticky for me because I have conflicting opinions and beliefs. I absolutely believe the government has no business checking up on me or listening in on my phone calls or reading my emails or having any programs to do that to me and my fellow Americans.

On the other hand, I have absolutely no problem what-so-ever with the government using whatever means necessary — Whatever Means Necessary — on our enemies to keep me, my friends, you and even everyone who protests against these methods safe.

Yeah, I said that. If water boarding a suspected terrorist will keep me and those I love (and even those I don’t like too much) safe? Bring out the pitcher and fill ‘er up.

"We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us."

I ask you this hypothetical: What if the next guy who gets caught in the mountains of Afghanistan, or in London or walking around taking pictures of downtown D.C. pegs a radiation meter? Will Americans complain louder because the rubber hoses were broken out but a plot was shortstopped? Or because a dirty bomb or suitcase nuke went off at 16th and Constitution because we were wasting time asking nicely?

Winston Churchill sacrificed Coventry to keep secret the fact we’d broken many of Germany’s codes during World War II. Are the civil rights of a terrorist worth Washington or New York or Los Angeles or Seattle or Omaha?

There are rules of war. I remember learning them in the Marine Corps. Generally speaking you’re only supposed to only kill the bad guys (and girls today) and, while you’re at it, do your best not to kill anyone who may be in the way of the primary objective. But the primary objective is to kill the enemy.

But what if the enemy doesn’t follow the same rule you do? What if they don’t follow any rules at all and exploit your adherence to your rules? What if, so to speak, they decline to stand in Napoleonic lines and instead shoot at you from behind the trees? What if they kidnap your people and make videos while sawing their screaming victims’ heads off with knives? The rules of war weren’t written for this war, hell, they weren’t even written for the Vietnam War, which at least had a uniformed army on both sides.

Fact: Since Sept. 11, 2001, the United States has not been attacked by terrorists. Yes, our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have, but “we” haven’t. It may not be a nice thought, but torture has probably stopped a terrorist attack on America, Americans or our allies.

In the coming months and years it’s likely we'll face an even more dangerous situation than we’ve faced in the past eight years. When that time comes Barack Obama will be forced to confront many of the same choices George W. Bush has.

When he does what will he choose?

My Opus 100

I know I'm going to get this quote wrong (I'm doing it from memory), but here goes:

"Over the course of 40 years I published an average of 1,000 words a day;

Over the course of the second 20 years I published an average of 1,600 words a day.

Over the course of 40 years I sold an item every 10 days on the average;
Over the course of the second 20 years, I sold an item every six days on the average."

- Isaac Asimov

These words were found on a scrap of paper in Asimov's desk by his wife, Janet, after he died of AIDS in April 1992 at the age of 72.

[I remember I learning about the death of one of my favorite authors: I was still in the Marine Corps and my unit was out in the field for an exercise. Someone had snagged a USAToday during a supply run to the rear and brought this little sliver of civilization out to the boonies with them. I was glancing through the Life section and saw Asimov's picture and thought to myself, "Cool, the last book of the Foundation series must be coming out." Only to have my joy turn to abject horror in learning the author of one of the most famous series of books (and one of my most favorite to boot) had died. Before finishing the last book. Turns out, he'd finished it, it just hadn't been published. Whew. But I digress.]

A thousand words a day for 40 years equals 14.6 million words. Permanent words printed on paper, not like these you're reading thrown into cyberspace on a blog. Words he was paid to write.

Words he loved to write. Words he just plain loved.

Think about that for a moment...throughout his extraordinary life and career, Asimov wrote or edited 460 some odd books falling into all but one of the categories of the Dewey Decimal System. Seems he wasn't too big on philosophy and psychology (100s).

The title of this post, my 100th since The Foggy Dew appeared in the waning day of July, comes from Asimov's one hundredth book Opus 100. One hundred posts in 125 days. Not a bad start.

But nothing to crow over either (although I am, just a bit). I got this started in the summer heat of the presidential election season and, I hope, I'll be able to keep throwing my words out there to see if they make a difference.

I love politics. I love reading about it, talking about it, arguing about it and writing about it here. As it says at the top, "A little revolution is good for the soul..." (Although, Arjewtino once suggested "No stalking. Just free panties" as a slogan after the Virtual Panty Raid promotion a little bit back.) It's our job as citizens to keep an eye on our leaders to...encourage them to do what is right, not what is popular.

The work hasn't ended, it's only just begun. So let's get to work.

Sad Milestones

Every boy remembers his first time with sadness. Something that starts off so hopeful, and yet turns to ashes in a briefest of moments.

You know what I'm talking about. That first time you see her as you open it up for a better look. But then something catches your eye.

"No. NO!" Your mind screams that can't be right. But as you look closer at the vital statistics you see it's true. For the first time in your life you're looking at a Playboy centerfold who's younger than you.

It's a sad milestone we all reach, sooner or later.

"Why? Oh why!" we wail, "Couldn't this have waited another month? Or year? I'm only 19 and my life is over."

OK, maybe it's not that bad, but it's still a hard blow to take. I passed it long ago, but the pain remains and I'd hoped to never feel that way again.

But the news I heard this morning was like Mother Nature ripping a Band-Aid off my knee.

Twice.

And then, just for good measure and a little extra special pain, rubbing some kosher salt in the fresh wound.

I ask you, "Didn't we just finish up one of the longest and most excruciating presidential campaigns ever just 21 days ago?" For the record, we did. And now I see this headline on the news this morning:

"Only 1,443 day to go."

What. The. Hell?

It's true. The man above and to our right, Gov. Bobby Jindal, R-Louisiana, was in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Saturday night. Ostensibly, he was there giving a speech to 800 or so guests at a dinner sponsored by the Iowa Family Policy Center, but we all know what it was. It was the first stop on the 2012 campaign trail.

Let me say that again: The president-elect has yet to raise his right hand with his left on a Bible and swear to "...Preserve, protect and defend the Constitution..." and there's already folks lining up for a shot at his chair behind the Resolute Desk. Barack Obama hasn't even finished filling the seats for his first Cabinet meeting yet and the line's forming for 2012.

And here's where I tie naked women and good writing to the chief executive of Louisiana: Jindal, the first Indian American elected to a governor's mansion is 37 years old. Yep, for the first time in my life, there's a guy running for president who's younger than me.

Didn't think I could do that, did ya? Sure, it's easy to put the governor of Louisiana (or the governor of any state for that matter) together with naked women, but it's a damn site harder to connect them with good writing.

Even though the former Rhodes Scholar hasn't announced it yet, we all know Jindal's going to take a run at the presidency. Either that or he was innocently making a speech in the state where the first primary contest will be held in four years. Why the Hell else would someone go to Iowa? In November?

I'm a huge fan of free speech. But maybe, in just this case, I just might get behind a restriction on campaigning for president, if only for the sake of my sanity.

The English dramatist John Fletcher said "Deed, not words shall speak to me."

I think it's time anyone who wants to be president of this country take that to heart and start doing instead of talking. The best way for Bobby Jindal, or Barack Obama for that matter, to make their case for the Oval Office in four years of for them to shut the Hell up and do. Do the business of this country, We the People's business, not the corporations' and banks' business, and work with us to make everyone's lives better.

That's how it should be done.

Time to Pay Up

I was amused by the bottom grafs of a Bloomberg story on the conviction of Republican Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska. It pointed out the irony of how even though they're not represented in the Senate, 12 District voters may have just decided if the Democrats will have the 60-seat filibuster-proof majority in that chamber the party so desperately desires.

Stevens, 84, like other long-serving senators, was wildly popular in his home state. During his 40 years in the Senate (he's the longest serving R in the Senate), he brought home the bacon and made sure his tiny home state (population-wise) got every penny it could, whether it needed it or not.

Like any powerful person who's been corrupted, he apparently felt he was above the law. The hubris of his excuses is laughable.

"I paid every bill I was sent," Stevens said, trying to justify the pittance he paid for the massive renovations done to his house. "It was a loan," was his way of describing the presence of the vibrating chair he received.

Does he really think we're that stupid?

Today (yesterday, actually) is a great day for the District. Should Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich defeat Stevens next Tuesday, not only will he represent the 683,478 residents of Alaska, he'll definitely owe those 12 District residents and, by extension, their 588,280 neighbors, for getting him elected.

Not that he'll come through, of course. Begich, like Stevens before him, is first and foremost a politician and politicians have no loyalty.

Maybe? Then again, maybe not...

We see them everyday as we drive or walk or Segue around town to-and-from work or, more likely for some of you reading, bars.

Bumper stickers proudly adorning the rear windows and bumpers of our friends' and neighbors' cars. Haven't seen one on a motorcycle, though, I guess the two-wheeled crowd has more respect for their hard-earned iron.

With this being a leap year the most abundant of these mobile messages tend toward the political. One of the most popular I've seen reads "01-20-09 Bush's last day" which, I must say, is about as creative as "Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife for president."

Anyway, this picture is of one of my neighbor's cars:

It's pretty easy to figure out who they're voting for come Nov. 4. It would have been funny a few years ago to make fun of them for not only supporting democrats for national office, but they must really be a masochist to pull for the Sox.

What I found most interesting, however, is that all three of these bumper stickers (four counting the Sox sticker) are Scotch taped to the inside of the window. A close-up to show the detail of the fine taping job:

To me this shows a certain lack of commitment to the cause. Their cause, of course, not mine. The last bumper stickers I had on a car read "He's Not Here" and "Give Blood, Play Rugby." At the first bad turn in the campaign they can be removed in a fit of pique. Such weakness is not becoming in a campaign.

Or, should the McCain/Palin ticket prove victorious in November, they can be quickly ripped down to avoid "editing" by the Ministry of Truth.

I always kinda laugh when I see a Kerry-Edwards or Gore-Lieberman sticker, but at least they've shown a conviction of their ideals. Tattered Bush-Quayle or Dukakis-Bentsen stickers are just sad, however a Nixon-Agnew sticker is prudent. You never know when Tricky Dick may be back dead and buried or not.

I say if you're going to support someone don't hold back. Peel off the back of that sticker and slap the sucker on your bumper.