Monday, December 28, 2009

Running on empty

Apparently, in today’s disposable society, it’s fashionable to just discard an electronic device once its power source can no longer hold a charge.

Case in point: my search last week, Christmas Eve in fact, for a new battery for my cell. From the way they looked at me in not one, but two stores, you’d a thought I was making some kind of unreasonable sexual request from their mothers (I wasn’t). The morons who sold me the phone (a RAZR if you must know) didn’t even carry batteries for it anymore. (Thanks AT&T, you jerk offs). And, when I finally tracked one down at Radio Shack, they guy looked at me funny and asked, “You know we have the iPhone now?”

Really? What’s an iPhone? I wanted to ask. I've never heard of such a thing, I wanted to say. Totally channel the pretty darn smart youngest brother. Make the guy explain the whole damn thing, from soup (the actual iPhone) to nuts (AT&T’s stupid-assed monopolistic rate plans), seriously take up 45 minutes of his time (on Christmas Eve), and then say “Nah, I think I'll just go with the battery.”

Instead I just let him sell me the wrong (yeah, wrong) battery for $50. Let me repeat, 50, friggin’ dollars. For the wrong size battery. Jackass.

What the heck is so wrong about wanting to keep a 3-year-old phone going a little while longer? Nothing, I say. The problem is companies make it inconvenient and expensive – planned obsolescence – for us to stick to one tech toy for too long. (Did I really need to put that link in? Is there anyone out there who doesn't know what planned obsolescence is?)

Don’t get me wrong, I think iPhones are pretty whiz-bang neat-o, I just don’t need one (or any other smart phone) no matter how much society or the me-me-me-now-now-now part of my brain says so.

I’ll tell you one thing, one of the reasons I’m sticking with the RAZR in my pocket is survivability. Remember those old commercials where they melted a metal pan in the glass Visions Cookware pan? They just slagged that sucker down to nothing – "Turn a aluminium saucepan into sauce" the ad said – and the glass pan came through without a hitch.
My sister had a great comment when that ad came on TV, “And, for our next demonstration we’re going to drop both pans from a one-story building and see which one can still boil water for spaghetti.”

My RAZR survived not one, but TWO falls from my seventh-floor balcony onto the bricks below. I am virtually certain an iPhone would has shattered into countless tiny shards under similar circumstances.

Me? Gimme metal any day of the week and twice on Sunday.*

*Of course all of this goes out the window if Apple shitcans AT&T this summer and opens the iPhone up to other carriers. If that happens you quickly see me (once the vapor trails clear) with iPhone. An insured iPhone, just in case I want to bring it out on the balcony.


Malnurtured Snay said...

I had a RAZR, and I'd probably still have it, but one day the screen went black and never worked again. Hope that doesn't happen too soon for you.

Gina said...

Buy your battery from this web site. I also replaced my RAZR battery from them,

Sebastian said...

Don't care for the whining so much (double-edged blade of technology, suck it up) -- but that pan-melting video was way cool!

Alice said...

i've had that happen too - requested a new cell phone battery and was looked at like i'd grown a second head and told to just buy a new phone. i actually just sort of accidentally cracked the screen on my work bb (it's a good one! all radiating out from a point and everything!) and i'm told it will be cheaper to get a new phone than replace the screen. HUH?

FoggyDew said...

Snay - Yeah, here's hoping that too. When the phone dies, I will replace it, but I hate being pushed to toss a perfectly good piece of equipment.

Gina - Now you tell me.

Seb - Did that come off whiny? So the rant I have planned for this afternoon probably isn't a good idea?

Alice - Was it "accidental" or was there a Giant's loss involved? Hmmmm? C'mon, you can tell me.

Sebastian said...

A good ol' rant is great for the system, don't worry about how it comes across :P

LiLu said...

I know this is so not the point, but my sister got the Droid for Christmas... after playing with it, it really is almost the same as an iPhone, and a zillion times cheaper.

lacochran said...

*squints* Are you a Communist?