I rarely, if ever admit to reading celebrity news, but the headline “Lindsay Lohan suing E-Trade” caught my eye. What, I wondered, could this be about? Did they cost her the rest of the money she hasn’t metabolized yet?
Turns out the world’s most famous Lindsey (at least that’s what she’s claiming) feels that E*Trade is profiting off her life story by portraying a baby named Lindsay as a milkaholic in its Super Bowl ad. Lohan is looking to score $100 million in damages.
To tell you the truth, I never would have made the connection between Lohan and the milkaholic Lindsay in the ad. But, now that she’s filed suit and an article’s been written, that’s all I’ll think about whenever I see the babies trading stocks.
According to the article, the former child star, who herself has had an issue or two with controlled substances and hasn’t done anything of note in a very long while, filed a lawsuit in Nassau County (I’m guessing NY) Supreme Court. I guess it’s easier to sue a company than it is to actually get a job. The article goes on:
“The actress’ lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, claims Lohan’s first name is just as recognizable as other single-word monikers used by stars such as Madonna and Cher. Ovadia says, ‘Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E*Trade is using that knowledge to profit. They used the name Lindsay. They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.’ ”
Apparently it’s not recognizable enough since her own attorney needed to identify her by her first and last names in an article about her and her stupid-ass lawsuit.
A spokesman for the Grey Group, which created the ad, said they picked the name because it was a popular baby name and it’s the name of someone on the account team. They better hope to God the second part is true.
According to a couple of baby name sites I checked out, Lindsay (with an "a" not an "e") doesn’t make the top 100 for the last year. In fact, according to BabyCenter.com it’s ranked #696 in 2010 and hasn’t been in the top 150 in the past decade.
Either way this turns out – and I’m rooting for the big, bad corporation with a staff of in-house, flesh-eating lawyers they use to hire outside, mutant flesh-dissolving-and-the-eating counsel – it’s going to be stupid. Personally, I'd go with the "we spelled it with an "e" defense.
Note: I was going to include a picture of Lindsey Lohan in this post, but then couldn't decide among a flattering pic (she can be quite beautiful when she tries), a drunken pic (too easy), a flashing pic (available in abundance) or one of her with herself in The Parent Trap (much too cute and a little creepy at the same time). Sorry I couldn't decide, you'll just have to go to her fan site on your own.