Ummmmm, the Sagarmatha* of Meat...

This one goes out to my pal Lemmonex, who's always on the lookout for a good burger.

As I was reading the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette this morning I came across this article that goes along with the Associated Press picture to the right. And no, the guy is not sitting far, far away from that burger, it really is bigger than his head.

According to the AP, Brad Sciullo, 21, of Uniontown, Pa., took 4 hours and 39 minutes to finish what it described as "a marathon. A meat marathon, that is."

"About three hours into it, things got tough," the AP reported he said. I should hope so.

Sciullo-an average size guy at 5'11" and 180 pounds- is the first person to finish the Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser. The Everest of burgers comes from Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, about 100 miles northeast of Pittsburgh in Clearfield. The Bruiser's burger alone weighs in at a respectable 15 pounds, with the bun and toppings adding another 5.2 pounds.

Ummygod. I just threw up a little in my mouth writing that description.

FIFTEEN POUNDS. Of ground beef. Going through his colon. An avalanche of meat rolling through his digestive track.

I'd think with that amount of meat it would be like the description I saw on the Discovery Channel about a giant asteroid hitting the earth: With five miles of the 25-mile wide rock burrowed into the earth, the tail end of the asteroid was still outside most of the atmosphere 100,000 feet above.

About 10 pounds in wouldn't he already be shitting the first bites out while still eating his way through the last 10? Do they have a specially built chair that allows this to happen?

Since he ate the burger in less than five hours, Sciullo won $400, three T-shirts and a certificate trumpeting his gastrointestinal triumph. Wouldn't a gift certificate for a colonic have been more useful?

Why'd he do it? "I wanted to see if I could," was the answer.

Not a good enough reason in my opinion. Now, if it were a 20-pound taco...

* The Nepali name for Mount Everest